Going to chime in here, even though I know I shouldn't.
One I agree if a modder/coder/programer hasn't developed, worked on a mod, or help in the community, why give them a donation, but I can't agree with you since you put the above person; has been a dev with forge, created and updated Redpower from beta 1.7.3 - 1.4.6, and also thought about the compatibility of other mods while she made her mod (forge hasn't had everything it has now).
Yet in the above, you are stating she has done nothing in the community, which may be why it may seem he is arguing with you. Sure she did go dark, for about/over a year, so you have that on her, and if that is what is stopping you from donating, good for you.
In the end I'm not looking for an argument either, so if you feel elo doesn't deserve a donation, fine don't give one. I just want you to understand where others that give her a donation may be coming from.