King of the Hill

[goreae]

Actually, Miss Rhonda has been peeing all over the bathroom floors. She has some sort of accident when she was little and her you know whatsits is all sorts of screwed up. Also, opening the door is only sexist if you only do it for girls.

Also, this is not a society against men. We're actually lead by a tribunal consisting of a man (GPuzzle), a cyborg (me), and a gynoid (liara).

 

[Technician]

Actually, Miss Rhonda has been peeing all over the bathroom floors. She has some sort of accident when she was little and her you know whatsits is all sorts of screwed up. Also, opening the door is only sexist if you only do it for girls.

Also, this is not a society against men. We're actually lead by a tribunal consisting of a man (GPuzzle), a cyborg (me), and a gynoid (liara).

I am a man therefore I am the utter oppressor. See, men have glands that secrete oppressionsauce and this creates both an aura (and odor) and feeling of empowerment to myn so this makes us superior because we can make women cry and stuff,

 

[GPuzzle]

What.
I think Monty Phyton makes more sense that that.
Should we watch Monty Phyton's The Meaning of Life?

 

[Technician]

What.
I think Monty Phyton makes more sense that that.
Should we watch Monty Phyton's The Meaning of Life?

Too complicated; didn't understand

okay well pretty much men are oppressive beings with no other job than to oppress, come on I read tumblr posts alla time so I know my shiz yo.

 

[GPuzzle]

Read tumblr posts?
Well, that explains a lot.

 

[Technician]

Read tumblr posts?
Well, that explains a lot.

My skill of tumblr posts makes it my hill.

 

[goreae]

Okay, you read tumblr too much. You are slightly irritating and I push you away, and the leaders' guards, the Valkyrie's Heirs, proceed to swiftly kick you off the hill Have a good day, sir.

 

[ApSciLiara]

I pass a law that makes it so that reading what Tumblr Feminists have to say about stuff and actually believing it is punishable by banishment.

Partly my hill (shared rule!)

 

[Technician]

I pass a law that makes it so that reading what Tumblr Feminists have to say about stuff and actually believing it is punishable by banishment.

Partly my hill (shared rule!)

They are essentially anarchists so.. I don't think it matters.

I stage a coup, and install myself as a facist dictator. I then get all other hills in the world, as well as any remnants of hills we have destroyed, and build them together for giant hill. I then install speakers in the ground to play Queen (And Bach, Beethoven, Mozart and Chopin) all around the mega-hill.

MY HILL.

 

[PeggleFrank]

I activate a massive EMP, short circuiting your speakers. Your kingdom is weak without the power of Queen, and I destroy it.

My hill.

 

[goreae]

Grieving the loss of the _ kingdom of the hill, I decide to go watch the entire mask series, and eat a gallon of ice cream. *cries*

(actually, I'm working on a brief history of the Hill. It will probably take about a week.)

 

[Jess887cp]

^ that would be awesome.

I publish the book, and being the original owner, you the book as a deed in court to claim the hill.
My hill.

 

[PeggleFrank]

I randomly come out of the blue and say that you're a wolf. The villagers in your kingdom believe my completely false claims and lynch you.

My hill.

 

[Jess887cp]

Peggle, you crayzee. Although apparently I'm insane.

Ever head of the king of madness? That's me, on my hill.

 

[Technician]

I research mathematics and get an army of trebu- wait this isn't civ5...

I fly my fighter jet into where you sit, my hill.

 

[Droideka30]

I swoop down on a hang glider and hijack your fighter jet in midair.
My hill.

 

[Jess887cp]

I grab my anti-air missiles and start firing them in your general direction.

My hill.

 

[Droideka30]

Except for my anti-anti-air missile missiles.
My hill.

 

[superk2001]

Enough talk.
I proceed with my plan to take the hill.

First stage: Find out if it is a duplicate hill. If it is, find the real one.
Second stage: I send an army of Herobrines under my command to your hill. It is now my hill
Third stage: If this didn't work, I travel back in time before anyone had any sort of technology. I kick all of you into a mystcraft void age with no starter platform.
Fourth stage: I set up a quantum scanning device so that if anyone comes within 10 lightyears or regular years it will send a red matter bomb thorugh time or space to destroy them.
Fifth stage: Biogas. Lava. Oil. Constant production of power for my forcefield's with infinite scanning range, high energy pellet dispensers, and other such things to keep people away.

My hill.
Beat that.

Edit: I hired the ghostbusters, no ghosts on my hill

 

[Eunomiac]

Anti-air-missiles are quite lovely, but my illudium Q-36 explosive space modulator can destroy your entire planet from the comfort of my marbled Mars palace (it obstructs my view of Venus, I'll have you know). And, since I'm certain you don't have an anti-illudium-Q-36-explosive-space-modulator missile, THE HILL IS MINE!

EDIT: Bah, ninja'd and defeated by superk2001's "other such things" trump card!