The Truly Terrible Jokes/Puns Thread

[skunkdonkey]

Bob Bobson buys some heroin from a drug dealer.

He says "Yey, im gonna be a hero thats gonna win!"

*Two Days Later*

R.I.P Bob Bobson

He died from taking heroin. He stupid.

*If a staff member thinks this is inappropriate i will remove it

 

[sgbros1]

It was his first time as a manicurist.

I think he nailed it.

 

[Celestialphoenix]

Tesco has reported a record loss of £6.4 billion.

Well, that's what you get for gambling on horses.

 

[sgbros1]

Dunno if wrong thread, or what.

 

[sgbros1]

Never go with Skrillex on a fishing trip.

He will drop the bass.

 

[ljfa]

What is invar-plated, transports RF and quacks?


....ugh nevermind, that one's really terrible

 

[GamerwithnoGame]

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea.

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no idea.

 

[sgbros1]

I was wondering why that baseball is growing bigger.

Then it hit me.

 

[GamerwithnoGame]

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the sea?

Bob.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a bush?

Russell.

 

[sgbros1]

The bakery burned down last night.

I guess their service is toast now.

 

[Marthon2]

President Obama sent tanks to the wrong location
Tanks Obama!

 

[Marthon2]

Gabe N. Invented something that is another type of gas
Steam

 

[Marthon2]

If I someone was a new member, can't they remember that they are the newbs?

 

[GamerwithnoGame]

I think this one only works when written:

Why did the king of the Faeries cross the road? To get to the other sidhe.

 

[Someone Else 37]

There are exactly 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

 

[sgbros1]

There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who realize this pun can be in any base, and those who don't care

 

[GamerwithnoGame]

What do you call a man who works in a laser factory?

Ray.

What do you call a man who works as an apiarist?

Buzz.

What do you call a man who works in a toilet factory?

Lou.

 

[Lethosos]

What happened to the chicken after he crossed the road?

He was fined for jaywalking.

Sent from my SGH-T769 using Tapatalk 2

 

[Marthon2]

Digging For Precious Ores + Combining Stuff Together = Minecraft!

 

[Marthon2]

what do you get of a hybrid of a Nazi Soldier and Ebola?
Nazi-bola! Bet you didn't Nazi that one coming XD