As for the part on how modders should do their own thing, I agree that they should, but the amount of pressure on them to use RF as it currently is is a bit crazy. I'd ping Reika and let him talk about the demands he gets to use RF, but it isn't worth his time. So yes, there is a mindset that you have to please players as a modder, because if you don't many will flame you simply because they can.
I don't think I entirely agree with this, though I can understand the point you are trying to make. The reason I don't entirely agree is the statement regarding motivation ("because if you don't...").
For my mod I chose RF for the following reasons:
1. I have always liked Thermal Expansion, and wanted to have a mod that fit in with that. Being RF was secondary, but since TE used RF I worked with RF.
2. RF based power systems are in a lot of modpacks. How it became that way is covered in a variety of different ways in this thread. The upshot is that from a modding standpoint if I wanted my mod to be broadly appealing I would have to adopt RF. In essence it was a business decision.
If I were to make a guess a lot of modders choose RF because of point #2 not because of any fear of flaming. RF based power systems hit critical mass in public packs and it would make sense to adopt. If another power framework came a long and displaced RF my guess would be that modders would adopt that power system.