King of the Hill

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I toss a rock at your destination, and your board flips, sending you soaring off the side of the hill.

My hill.
 
I steal said burritos, and beat you with them. The power of the burritos compel you into suicide, and you give the hill to me right as your drawing your last breath.

My hill.
 
Back I come with a new body, male, about thirty five years old, and smoking hot. I then court Jess and we start the (I think) third Kingdom of the Hill and reign gloriously for 15 years until...
 
You invite powercrystals to your base a day after I command him to destroy your base. I captured him in my advanced thaumostatic magnetizer and said I would only release him if he would make me his boss. He does it laser style.
 
I claim the land with factions. I invite all well-known members and active members. All the well-known ones get faction moderator perms. I now have the hill FOREVER.
 
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