Destroy the Chest V.2/spin-off

[pizzawolf14]

It opens every chest on the world other than itself. Worldwide panic because there are toys everywhere and top secret vaults open, revealing that Obama is really an alien, the world is flat, and there's a human colony on the moon. Commence nuclear war and riots. Unfortunately, chest remains unharmed by opening a portal to an alternate universe undistinguishable from this one.

I poke the chest with a rowan wood stick soaked in the blood of a virgin.

 

[lenscas]

it pokes you back with something that looks like it was your brain

I trow a brain to the chest

 

[Celestialphoenix]

You miss. The brain slides awkwardly down the wall.

I install internet explorer on the chest.

 

[lenscas]

as it already came pre-installed with windows the installation fails and gives a blue screen. then the computer reboots

I pee-install internet explorer
(for some reason my browser thinks that pre-installed is false and wants me to change it to pee-installed)

 

[Celestialphoenix]

The chest is incredibly slow and fails to open.
I kill it with task manager.

 

[lenscas]

task manager fails to terminate it and instead gives a blue screen after that it reboots.

I run XANA.exe on it.

 

[xTordX]

Error 404: files not found


I... hmm...
...drop it on Earth from the Moon.

 

[lenscas]

It landed safely in the ocean. It did however destroy a lot of sea life.

build nuke factory that creates and launches a nuke every 0.001 second to the chest. I also use bees/mfr and whatever to make sure it never runs out of supplies or power

 

[Celestialphoenix]

The force from the explosions causes the chest to ricochet randomly about the earth, until it crashes into your nuke factory. Destruction ensues.

Feeling a bit peeved, the chest climbs out of the glassy crater and stings the living crap out of your bees.
​

I use gray goo on the chest.

 

[lenscas]

it consumes everything except the chest. thank you for destroying the world

I am bored and ask phyrexia for help

 

[xTordX]

It loses a bit of health before it EMP's the nanobots.
Health-97

I use a block breaker on it

Edit:ninja'd.
I'm not awake enough to change the outcome.

 

[Celestialphoenix]

Block breaker eats it.
Item form chest routes through your pipe network and ends up in a macerator.
There are now two chests.

 

[xTordX]

Wehwahwohwooh WHAT HOW

 

[keybounce]

lol

I place the two chests down next to each other, so it looks like one single double chest.

I then place a hopper under each one, individually, to see if the chest's author remembered to work around the vanilla chest stupidity, or if the hopper actually works in the double-chest configuration.

 

[Someone Else 37]

The hoppers appear to work on the chests, and pull out... more chests. Then the existing chests starting placing the chests in the hoppers everywhere.

I plant some saplings underneath the growing mass of chests and bonemeal them, hoping that the leaves will destroy some of the chests.

 

[Gamefury64]

The chest develops a harvester to destroy the trees.

Build a laser drill.

 

[GamerwithnoGame]

Congratulations, you have a laser drill.

I tickle the chest in the hope that it laughs and opens.

 

[xTordX]

It's inanimate.
Use Botania's new wireless chests thingy to get the contents out.

 

[GamerwithnoGame]

It's inanimate.
Use Botania's new wireless chests thingy to get the contents out.

Inexplicably, the redstring breaks.

I attempt to place the chest into a high-vacuum chamber, in the hope that any gas contained within forces the lid open from the inside.

 

[gold49]

The chest slightly expands and the gas causes one damage before the chest destroys the vacuum chamber with explosions.

Chest health:
96/100

I make the chest study for exams with me, hopefully it will be so stressed and sleepy by the end of it I can just lift the top off.