The Truly Terrible Jokes/Puns Thread
- Thread starter jordsta95
- Start date
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You Might Be A Programmer If:
1. You immediately complain that this should be subscripted as zero.
2. Most people say "Go To Hell," but you tell people to redirect to
/dev/null.
3. By the time you've gotten here in the document, you've run Tidy
or a similar app to check my X/HTML skills.
4. Point 3 annoys you, since this document is obviously plaintext
without html formatting.
5. The statement (0x2b||!0x2b) makes sense to you.
6. You find 5 funny.
7. You note with disgust that it always evaluates to true, since
0x2b != 0.
8. Point 7 disgusts you, because under other languages than C++
(Java, for one), it would throw an exception, runtime error, etc.
9. Both points 7 and 8 disgust you, because (0x2b||!0x2b) isn't
a statement.
10. You wonder why there's so much religious debate. After all,
can't they just type man life?
11. Point 10 disgusts you, because your PDP-10 does not have man pages.
12.
13. You can write formal grammar statements for C, C++, C#, Java,
Perl, Python, PHP, HTML, any XML schema, Assembly, Obj-C, QBASIC,
XBASIC, O
BASIC, StarMath, and just about anything else I could
throw at you, and yet the question, "Is our children learning?"
raises no red flags.
14. You wonder why point 13 is making a reference to John Kerry.
15. You quit drinking coffee; caffeine I/Vs are easier.
16. Your root@localhost password is the chemical formula for caffeine.
17. You didn't know that there was a war in Iraq: too busy preparing
for the next gcc compiler release.
18. You wrote the GPL.
19. You think a "pipe dream" involves bash scripting.
20. Point 19 disgusts you, since zsh is so much more powerful.
Disclaimer:
This joke was obtained from the FSF's email archives of the GNU
Project. The Free Software Foundation claims no copyrights on
this joke.
Further jokes (by Scott Lawrence) were added later on.
$Date: 2010/11/17 01:55:50 $
Yes, I just copied the whole page
1. You immediately complain that this should be subscripted as zero.
2. Most people say "Go To Hell," but you tell people to redirect to
/dev/null.
3. By the time you've gotten here in the document, you've run Tidy
or a similar app to check my X/HTML skills.
4. Point 3 annoys you, since this document is obviously plaintext
without html formatting.
5. The statement (0x2b||!0x2b) makes sense to you.
6. You find 5 funny.
7. You note with disgust that it always evaluates to true, since
0x2b != 0.
8. Point 7 disgusts you, because under other languages than C++
(Java, for one), it would throw an exception, runtime error, etc.
9. Both points 7 and 8 disgust you, because (0x2b||!0x2b) isn't
a statement.
10. You wonder why there's so much religious debate. After all,
can't they just type man life?
11. Point 10 disgusts you, because your PDP-10 does not have man pages.
12.
When you think of Blowfish, the stuff described on www. blowfish .com
has no relation to what comes to mind.
has no relation to what comes to mind.
13. You can write formal grammar statements for C, C++, C#, Java,
Perl, Python, PHP, HTML, any XML schema, Assembly, Obj-C, QBASIC,
XBASIC, O
BASIC, StarMath, and just about anything else I couldthrow at you, and yet the question, "Is our children learning?"
raises no red flags.
14. You wonder why point 13 is making a reference to John Kerry.
15. You quit drinking coffee; caffeine I/Vs are easier.
16. Your root@localhost password is the chemical formula for caffeine.
17. You didn't know that there was a war in Iraq: too busy preparing
for the next gcc compiler release.
18. You wrote the GPL.
19. You think a "pipe dream" involves bash scripting.
20. Point 19 disgusts you, since zsh is so much more powerful.
Disclaimer:
This joke was obtained from the FSF's email archives of the GNU
Project. The Free Software Foundation claims no copyrights on
this joke.
Further jokes (by Scott Lawrence) were added later on.
$Date: 2010/11/17 01:55:50 $
Yes, I just copied the whole page
Last edited:
Celestialphoenix
Too Much Free Time
Got myself a new pirate ship- she does 72 miles to the galleon.
Last edited:
CAN'T
HANDLE
THE PUNS
*breaks down*
I don't experience any of those programmer symptoms, but I do go through withdrawals any time I'm prevented from working on whatever my current project is. Does that count?
HANDLE
THE PUNS
*breaks down*
I don't experience any of those programmer symptoms, but I do go through withdrawals any time I'm prevented from working on whatever my current project is. Does that count?
Tales about Skye eating four bits...
<Skye> I only ate 4 serial bars
<Vic> nom...
<gamemanj> Skye: So that's why I seem to only be able to transfer stuff to my memory pen nibble-by-nibble... The upper 4-bits disappeared!
<Skye> :3
<Skye> cereal
<Skye> nom
* Skye hugs gamemanj
<Skye> good joke!
<gamemanj> Skye: Now excuse me, I have to go write a file recovery program that handles a global bitwise AND by 0x0F on everything.
<gamemanj> (it's probably impossible)
<Skye> and also make it so that it splits a byte into two nibbles!
<gamemanj> Skye: That's what I was referring to: you nommed the data lines carrying the upper nibble, so only the lower nibble(bitmask 0x0F) remains
<Skye> I only ate 4 serial bars
<Vic> nom...
<gamemanj> Skye: So that's why I seem to only be able to transfer stuff to my memory pen nibble-by-nibble... The upper 4-bits disappeared!
<Skye> :3
<Skye> cereal
<Skye> nom
* Skye hugs gamemanj
<Skye> good joke!
<gamemanj> Skye: Now excuse me, I have to go write a file recovery program that handles a global bitwise AND by 0x0F on everything.
<gamemanj> (it's probably impossible)
<Skye> and also make it so that it splits a byte into two nibbles!
<gamemanj> Skye: That's what I was referring to: you nommed the data lines carrying the upper nibble, so only the lower nibble(bitmask 0x0F) remains
What did the guy who slept in a cementary say when asked why he slept there?
"I was just looking for a resting place."
"I was just looking for a resting place."
How did the penguin get to school?
On his bicicle
On his bicicle
As expected I bring another computer joke to the thread
- What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
- If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.
What is this a non computer related joke from Lenscas? What is this madness?
well it defiantly isn't Sparta
I don't know, man... Anything from xkcd is filed under "Computers" for me.
What is this a non computer related joke from Lenscas? What is this madness?
well it defiantly isn't Sparta
And we are back on track, this time with a nice comparison between Linux, windows and mac
... I've seen this joke with motorcycles, toasters, and now cars. It hasn't stopped being true.And we are back on track, this time with a nice comparison between Linux, windows and mac
