The Truly Terrible Jokes/Puns Thread

Discussion in 'Forum Games' started by jordsta95, Apr 16, 2015.

  1. HeilMewTwo

    HeilMewTwo New Member

    I have a beef with this post.
     
  2. lenscas

    lenscas Over-Achiever

    You Might Be A Programmer If:

    1. You immediately complain that this should be subscripted as zero.

    2. Most people say "Go To Hell," but you tell people to redirect to
    /dev/null.

    3. By the time you've gotten here in the document, you've run Tidy
    or a similar app to check my X/HTML skills.

    4. Point 3 annoys you, since this document is obviously plaintext
    without html formatting.

    5. The statement (0x2b||!0x2b) makes sense to you.

    6. You find 5 funny.

    7. You note with disgust that it always evaluates to true, since
    0x2b != 0.

    8. Point 7 disgusts you, because under other languages than C++
    (Java, for one), it would throw an exception, runtime error, etc.

    9. Both points 7 and 8 disgust you, because (0x2b||!0x2b) isn't
    a statement.

    10. You wonder why there's so much religious debate. After all,
    can't they just type man life?

    11. Point 10 disgusts you, because your PDP-10 does not have man pages.

    12.
    When you think of Blowfish, the stuff described on www. blowfish .com
    has no relation to what comes to mind.

    13. You can write formal grammar statements for C, C++, C#, Java,
    Perl, Python, PHP, HTML, any XML schema, Assembly, Obj-C, QBASIC,
    XBASIC, Oo_O BASIC, StarMath, and just about anything else I could
    throw at you, and yet the question, "Is our children learning?"
    raises no red flags.

    14. You wonder why point 13 is making a reference to John Kerry.

    15. You quit drinking coffee; caffeine I/Vs are easier.

    16. Your [email protected] password is the chemical formula for caffeine.

    17. You didn't know that there was a war in Iraq: too busy preparing
    for the next gcc compiler release.

    18. You wrote the GPL.

    19. You think a "pipe dream" involves bash scripting.

    20. Point 19 disgusts you, since zsh is so much more powerful.

    Disclaimer:

    This joke was obtained from the FSF's email archives of the GNU
    Project. The Free Software Foundation claims no copyrights on
    this joke.

    Further jokes (by Scott Lawrence) were added later on.

    $Date: 2010/11/17 01:55:50 $



    Yes, I just copied the whole page
     
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2015
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  3. sgbros1

    sgbros1 New Member

    Well you butter get over it soon.
     
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  4. lenscas

    lenscas Over-Achiever

    and another terminal joke:

    % man: why did you get a divorce?
    man:: Too many arguments.
     
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  5. HeilMewTwo

    HeilMewTwo New Member

    You chicken me.
     
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  6. Celestialphoenix

    Celestialphoenix Too Much Free Time

    Got myself a new pirate ship- she does 72 miles to the galleon.
     
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2015
  7. Type1Ninja

    Type1Ninja New Member

    CAN'T
    HANDLE
    THE PUNS
    *breaks down*
    I don't experience any of those programmer symptoms, but I do go through withdrawals any time I'm prevented from working on whatever my current project is. Does that count? :)
     
  8. TheEpic5

    TheEpic5 New Member

    Well, I'll just look it up on my limewire whilist eating limes.
    (NOTE, I DO NOT ECOURAGE PIRATING)
     
  9. ljfa

    ljfa New Member

    Tales about Skye eating four bits...

    <Skye> I only ate 4 serial bars
    <Vic> nom...
    <gamemanj> Skye: So that's why I seem to only be able to transfer stuff to my memory pen nibble-by-nibble... The upper 4-bits disappeared!
    <Skye> :3
    <Skye> cereal
    <Skye> nom
    * Skye hugs gamemanj
    <Skye> good joke!
    <gamemanj> Skye: Now excuse me, I have to go write a file recovery program that handles a global bitwise AND by 0x0F on everything.
    <gamemanj> (it's probably impossible)
    <Skye> and also make it so that it splits a byte into two nibbles!
    <gamemanj> Skye: That's what I was referring to: you nommed the data lines carrying the upper nibble, so only the lower nibble(bitmask 0x0F) remains
     
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  10. Type1Ninja

    Type1Ninja New Member

    I... I don't understand... XD
     
  11. gold49

    gold49 New Member

    What did the guy who slept in a cementary say when asked why he slept there?
    "I was just looking for a resting place."
     
  12. jordsta95

    jordsta95 New Member

    How did the penguin get to school?
    On his bicicle
     
  13. Type1Ninja

    Type1Ninja New Member

    Ow.
     
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  14. lenscas

    lenscas Over-Achiever

    As expected I bring another computer joke to the thread
    [​IMG]
     
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  15. Funky Ghost

    Funky Ghost New Member

    • What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
    • If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.
     
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  16. lenscas

    lenscas Over-Achiever

    [​IMG]
    What is this a non computer related joke from Lenscas? What is this madness?

    well it defiantly isn't Sparta :p
     
  17. Type1Ninja

    Type1Ninja New Member

    I don't know, man... Anything from xkcd is filed under "Computers" for me. :p
     
  18. lenscas

    lenscas Over-Achiever

    And we are back on track, this time with a nice comparison between Linux, windows and mac
    [​IMG]
     
  19. Type1Ninja

    Type1Ninja New Member

    ... I've seen this joke with motorcycles, toasters, and now cars. It hasn't stopped being true. :D
     
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  20. lenscas

    lenscas Over-Achiever

    [​IMG]
     
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