I have found it to not be as bad as you are saying, If you actually craft the items you research and scan them you get quite a lot of research points back. In a lot of cases the item gives back WAY more than you spent researching.Here's a problem I'm seeing with 4.1 and add-ons: Research points. That right there kills the game completely at a certain point. I have Thaumcraft 4.1, Tinkerer, Traheremagy, Advanced Thaumaturgy, Apocrypha, Apimancy, and Technomancy all part of my mods. There are no where near enough research points for this, and now I am at a point in my game where I have to spend HOURS at my 6 deconstruction tables just clicking on them. No golems (to my knowledge) can do this for you (stupid of Azanor not to add this). This has killed all FUN for the mod and it's add-ons. Not only did 4.1 screw up a lot for the mod (again, imo), but this is detrimental and will easily kill people's fun experience after a few short weeks.
Of course, without the add-ons and some knowledge of how the system works, you'll have barely enough (of the necessary) points to complete anything. I say necessary points because anyone with deep experience in this knows there are certain aspects you use consistently (Aer/Motus/Ordo/Insturmentum) and then ones you can do nothing with (like my 119 Arbor and 99 Lucrum/98 Saxum/107 Vitreus). Until this part of the game changes, I can no longer with a good conscious support Thaumcraft. I might be missing something, i don't know, but there needs to be a way to break down these hundreds of extra aspects into their basic aspects via the research table. Any suggestions other than sitting at deconstruction tables (or cheating) to fix this? I will never modify any files or play in creative mode (I'm not 9).
(On a side note, if not everyone is kissing Succubism's butt and shining it daily for all her help, then get started, because she is totally awesome for all her help)
If you are just sitting there trying to get all the research done in one go and not actually craft any of the things of course you are going to run short.
Once you have golems going and a decent sized mana bean farm you will have a whole ton of Primary essense beans that you can eat for research points because you wont use them for vis. You get plenty of primary vis from centrifuging down your excess compound vis.
There is a method to it, I have restarted on so many different modpacks that I have got it down to a science. Primary focus is getting that mana bean farm going. A productive mana bean farm means you have unlimited vis and an easy way of getting the harder to harvest and more expensive varieties. As a plus all the Primary beans you can eat.
An automated Mana bean farm is the equivalent of power generation or quarries in tech mods. Should always be at the top of the list of "things you need to do".
Also why are you blaming Thaumcraft and Azanor for your woes? He has more than enough research points for his mod. It's the other mods causing you grief.