"The Machine"

[gold49]

The machine gives you £138.96 worth of 1¢ cupcakes.

I insert a map in the machine

 

[Someone Else 37]

The machine returns a different map.

I insert a coin.

 

[HeroGabe]

The machine returns a different map.

I insert a coin.

The machine spits a black hole at you because you inserted a coin.
I insert a coin the size of Pluto (the planet) into the machine.

 

[Celestialphoenix]

The machine politely reminds you that Pluto is no longer a planet. Not sure why- its probably something to do with that indestructible chest. Either way I blame Dr Bright Direwolf.

I insert a cup of liquid explodium to see what happens.

 

[HeroGabe]

The machine gives you a cup of liquid explodium with a note saying that explosions are not allowed.

I insert a coin made out of nothing.

 

[Celestialphoenix]

You receive a lidless paper cup containing a total vacuum.

I insert 3 knuts and a sickle.

 

[HeroGabe]

You receive a lidless paper cup containing a total vacuum.

I insert 3 knuts and a sickle.

You get 3 ok wands and death is knocking on the door of the room trying to get his sickle back.

I insert another machine into the machine!

 

[Celestialphoenix]

There are now two machines. They form a trade union and go on strike every 3 weeks for no particular reason.

I insert 7 Bitcoin.

 

[Someone Else 37]

The machine asks, "What's a bitcoin?"

I try to explain, saying that it's a currency that only exists on the Internet and is very difficult, if not impossible, for anyone to trace. Some people use it to buy and sell things on the shadier parts of the Internet; others just buy and sell bitcoins in an attempt to squeeze some money out of the currency's volatility (which, oddly, just makes it more volatile).

 

[RealKC]

*machine does nothing because no coin was inserted*

*inserts coin*

 

[Someone Else 37]

The machine plays some music, then asks for another coin.

I give it one.

 

[Celestialphoenix]

The machine plays the rest of the song.

Inserts 3 coins and plugs in a guitar amp.

 

[Someone Else 37]

The machine sends signals to the amplifier at three times the normal voltage, causing some of its components to burn up in puffs of blue smoke.

I write a note chastising the machine and stuff it into the coin slot.

 

[HeroGabe]

The Chosen One (a stickfigure) comes out of the machine.

I insert The Chosen One into the machine.

 

[RealKC]

The Chosen One punches you.

I insert 2 coins into the machine

 

[Someone Else 37]

The Chosen One roasts one of your coins from inside the machine, before you even manage to put it in the slot.

I summon the Dark Lord, instruct him to deal with the Chosen One, and stuff him into the machine.

 

[RealKC]

The Chosen One and the Dark Lord become allies.

I put a chocolate coin in the machine

 

[Someone Else 37]

The Chosen One eats the chocolate coin before using his and the Dark Lord's combined powers to create a black hole.

I say "Meh, it's not like we haven'y stuffed like five other black holes in there over the years," and insert a coin.

 

[RealKC]

You get teleported to the King of the Hill thread


I insert a Neutron Star in the machine

 

[SpwnX]

the machine spits out hundreds of galaxies, each of different flavor.
tasty stardust ice cream.

I install windows on the machine and put in a rusty coin.