IC:
I walk into the experiment chamber, to find a large crab, about the size of a football, but instead of pincers, it had long, flat knife-like points.
"Hello?" I say.
"HOLY SHIT!" It screams in the voice of an American teenage boy.
"HOLY SHIT!" I scream back. It talks? Nobody told me it can talk!
"What the hell?" It says irritably, "why didn't he tell me I had a visitor?"
"You talk..." I mumble, "how can you talk?"
"Eh, vocal chords, larynx, some shit like that, I don't really care."
"Hm."
"Look, buddy, I have a hot date with a nap, so just do what you have to do and leave me alone."
And then, we both hear feedback from the tannoy, and we both yelp.
"I'm afraid it's not that easy, Tim," the tannoy man says, "Felix here has to train you to do a task of his choice, and, if done successfully, he gets to keep you - oh! Here's my hot chocolate! See you in about eight hours!"
He then proceeds to make awful slurping noises that eventually devolve into snoring. Note to self: when I escape here, find out what hot chocolate he buys. I'm finding it hard to sleep at the moment.
I lean in close to the crab, I'm assuming Tim, and tell him my request.
Hysterical laughter on Tim's part follows.
After calming down a bit, Tim says "okay then, in all seriousness, let's get down to business."
"Excuse me," I say to the tannoy man, "I'm so sorry, but we have to go outside the chamber for this."
"Hmm? Oh, yeah, sure." The tannoy man says before getting back to snoring.
The door opens into the corridor with the glass chambers containing the sweaty boy and the perfect girl.
"You know what to do." I say to Tim.
Tim jumps onto the banister, and then onto the chamber with the girl. I see her scream, look at me and give me a 'what the hell are you doing?' look. 'Just bear with', I mouth to her.
By now Tim has started cutting a two metre high, one metre wide hole in the glass. Two minutes pass, and Tim finishes. He then proceeds to place the glass piece between the hole and the corridor, forming a bridge. I signal to the girl to come on, gingerly walks across to me, and jumps off of the banister to beside me.
"You saved me," she says in a voice as soft as velvet.
"I did," I say.
"No, I did!" Says Tim, suddenly beside me, and making the both of us scream.
"Quiet, you," I say to Tim half-mindedly.
"But... Why?" The girl asks shakily.
I laugh. "Are you serious? Look in a mirror!"
"What do you mean?"
"I probably shouldn't say this, seeing as I don't even know your name - "
"Deomi."
" - but you're the most beautiful, perfect masterpiece of a person I have ever seen. I love you, Deomi. If I'm not with you, I'll... I'll just wither and die."
"Really? You... You mean it?"
"Yes, Deomi. I saw you wink at me from that chamber and my heart just lit up. I know it sounds clichéd, but - "
She cuts me off with a kiss, straight on the lips. My heart hammers against my chest, my stomach is filled with butterflies and my head goes blank.
"Sooo... Are you going to need me any more, then?" I hear Tim say.
We break off the kiss because we're just laughing too much, and end in a passionate embrace. I start walking back to my chamber and she runs off the other way, looking back to blow me a kiss. I wink back, and escort myself the rest of the way, thinking about what a life-changing day this has been, with Tim right behind me.