King of the Hill

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goreae

Ultimate Murderous Fiend
Nov 27, 2012
1,784
2,649
273
Raxacoricofallapatorius
I come along, new cybernetic balls (god dammit gpuzzle) minding my own business, when I see these two hooligans going down on this door. What's a cybernetic wolf to do? I went over and politely asked them to stop going down on the door. The pair of hooligans respectfully decline and continue their ruckus. Since I already asked quite politely, and given the fact that the two ruffians were defacing private property, I decided to give the pair a whack of the tail. The two fall to the ground without a peep. Then the rascal who annihilated my testes opened the door to see what the horrendous noises were coming from. Then the rapscallion went back inside a produced a beautiful antique musket, beautifully preserved from years of misuse. He proceeds to make an attempt at my life with the ancient beauty, so I had no choice but to whack the fellow as well. Unfortunately, the pair of guests in the man's humble abode were cowering in a corner not far from the door. During the scuffle, one of them was hit by a ricochet from a bullet striking my cybernetic testicles. When the beauty of a rifle fell from my attacker's hand, a round went off hitting the other square in the kneecap. The pair faint from the shock and the pain. Feeling a slight tinge of guilt from the massacre, I teletranspose the 5 gentlemen to the Hospital at the End of the Universe, but not before taking what is rightfully mine, the testicles of the man that destroyed mine. They assimilate to my DNA structure once installed, and become my own. I give him the cybernetic version.

The hill is now the sole property of goreae.
 

the_j485

King of the Wicked
Dec 19, 2012
2,964
3,099
298
Look behind you
Kneecap cybernetically restored, I return to the hill.
Bringing cookies, cake, milk, oreos, and other delicious things, I knock on the door, offering all I have with me. Goreae lets me in gladly, and I return, glad to be back.
We eat the food together while watching a movie, and become best of friends.
 
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goreae

Ultimate Murderous Fiend
Nov 27, 2012
1,784
2,649
273
Raxacoricofallapatorius
Oi, jess, if you're here, I suggest one singular rule: never say no. If someone says it happens, it happens. Period. That would avoid what j did early on in the game, the whole "that hill was a fake!" thing.
 

GPuzzle

New Member
Jul 29, 2019
1,315
0
0
Uhm, goreae, sorry for running over your balls with a lawnmower.
Can I watch the movies too? It's cold out there.
And David's weird.
 

goreae

Ultimate Murderous Fiend
Nov 27, 2012
1,784
2,649
273
Raxacoricofallapatorius
I steal electro's adorable puppy dog face and mount it over the fireplace. I also let GPuzzle in past the wailing electro, and give him a fresh pair of balls, cloned from the originals, since he doesn't have cybernetic nanobots.
 

Electro44

New Member
Jul 29, 2019
123
0
0
I reattach the ashes to my body and seek vengeance, also I am now part incinerator, so I have like, laser eye beams or something
 

goreae

Ultimate Murderous Fiend
Nov 27, 2012
1,784
2,649
273
Raxacoricofallapatorius
Do you know what happened to the last guy to ask to enter, much less to barge in for no reason? his face was ripped off and incinerated.

I atomize Tellerofstones but keep the veggies. I like veggies.
 

Electro44

New Member
Jul 29, 2019
123
0
0
I sit in the well plotting, then I hear someone say "what's that Skip? Someone's trapped down the well?" I am then saved by skippy the kangaroo