Destroy the Chest V.2/spin-off

[Shattered box]

The chest pokes you.

Use the Black-Star Dragon Balls, and wish to Ultimate Shenron for the chest to be destroyed.

The chest says that that isnt real and you start crying

I give the chest a lecture on the difference between your and you're

 

[eeffoc]

The chest give you a lecture on the various things in the universe (witch can put quite a strain on your mind), long story short: you end up sitting in a dark alley, babling.

I call Bowerick Wowbagger and get him to insult the chest.

 

[darthwesix]

the chest makes the guy cry

I show the chest a chest from EE3

 

[Someone Else 37]

The chest eats the EE3 chest, then shortly thereafter starts inexplicably spitting out red matter blocks.

I load the red matter into a cannon and fire it at the chest.

 

[eeffoc]

The chest eats the red matter and fire it back at you.

I call forth the contents of jar 118.
Y'AI 'NG'NGAH
YOG-SOTHOTH
H'EE-L'GEB
F'AI THRODOG
UAAAH

BTW: the contents of the jar is the king in yellow. If you don't know who that is then:

 

[eeffoc]

Oh well, nothing happens from that (because no one is interested anymore :-( ).

I use my necrotic powers on the chest.

 

[Celestialphoenix]

The chest vomits holy water in your general direction.

I slap it with a duelling glove.

 

[keybounce]

The chest defeats you in the duel.

I use the logic of StrikingWolf to confuse it into thinking that since it will never always be closed, it must open.

 

[Celestialphoenix]

The chest remains closed for the indeterminate future.

I use a portal gun to crash the chest into itself.

 

[Pyure]

The chest defeats you in the duel.

I use the logic of StrikingWolf to confuse it into thinking that since it will never always be closed, it must open.

You know striking's like 15 years old or something right? He did ok in your debate

 

[Someone Else 37]

The chest remains closed for the indeterminate future.

I use a portal gun to crash the chest into itself.

The chest neatly squishes into whatever volume your portals give it, preventing any damage.

I take your portal gun and send the chest to the Moon.

 

[gold49]

The chest falls from the sky and lands on your head. The chest is unscratched and unopen, you are now up to your chest into the ground.

I run the chest over with Gravedigger and then drag the chest around the arena.

 

[Celestialphoenix]

The arena gets scratched and scuffed by the chest.

I let SCP-524 gnaw on it.

 

[TheEpic5]

The arena gets scratched and scuffed by the chest.

I let SCP-524 gnaw on it.

the wabbit gets flung somewhere
I punt the chest

 

[jdog1408]

You win

Uhm, uhhhh

 

[TheEpic5]

I WIN
YESZ

 

[jdog1408]

Chest time travels to before it was punted.

I slap the chest with cold deli meat

 

[Someone Else 37]

The chest takes your cold deli meat, roasts it, and fires the product in the general direction of your face.

I wrap some detonation cord around the chest and set it off (from a safe distance, of course).

 

[lenscas]

the chest laughs at you while it survives the explosion with ease.

I install suicide Linux on it log in as root and execute KILLME!

 

[TheEpic5]

No.

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