Destroy the Chest V.2/spin-off

[gold49]

The chest votes for turnip

I tell a bunch of vikings that the loot is inside the chest

 

[Celestialphoenix]

The chest now has godmode. This doesn't make much difference given the chest already had equivalent powers.
Err Thinkfastthinkfast
The Vikings strap sails to it and go for world domination in an unsinkable battleship. This is foiled when locals take 3 steps away from the coast and wait for the Vikings to disembark where they are brutally slaughtered and never make it to Valhalla. The locals inherent the chest and renovate it into a castle. It has never been taken but fortunately for the rest of mankind castles are somewhat immobile and thus world domination was averted.

I smash dragon eggs over the chest.
It probably won't do anything but it makes me feel better all the same.

 

[gold49]

The chest heats up and makes you some good dragon egg omlets (be carefully, they are spice).

I tell the dragons that the chest cooked their eggs.

 

[TheEpic5]

Dragons are cannibals and eat the eggs.

I walk away.

 

[keybounce]

The Dragon Army takes flight. Over the varied terrain, they travel. Arriving at the chest, they prepare to begin the siege.

But then, the chest points out that CelestialPhoenix actually broke the eggs in the first place.

The army changes course, and attacks the phoenix.

(What Chaos army, or Sunshine army does, is for another author to post).

I ask David Monroe for advice as an intelligent rationalist of Slytherin.

(References from Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, http://hpmor.com)

(GRR, someone beat me to it, I just got a "messages posted" notice)

Re-write:
You walk away, and nothing happens.

I still ask David Monroe for advice.

(if you don't know who he is, let someone who does post a reply. )

 

[RealKC]

(Sorry for the necro)

Nobody knows who David Monroe is so nobody replys about what advice he would give.

I go in creative and break the chest.

 

[jdog1408]

The chest laughs and jumps away, like the dragon egg.

I put a pumpkin on my head and try the same thing.

 

[Celestialphoenix]

The chest eats the pumpkin.

I plant a sapling in the lock and bonemeal it.

 

[RealKC]

[You get teleported in the end! Don't worry! You're wearing a pumpkin!] - ninja'd

The lock is made of Bedrock Alloy, nothing can break it!

I explain to the chest why he should commit suicide.(don't do this kids)

 

[keybounce]

The chest mirrors your argument back, and you go and kill yourself. But you fail in the attempt.

(David Monroe is one of the aliases of the same guy who also has Lord Voldemort as another alias in HP:MoR. Super smart, lots of experience, and utterly without scruples, willing to put up with all sorts of stuff for a long-term goal.)

I ask the chest how it would solve Harry's dilemma of having 30+ death eaters pointing wands at him, with Voldemort wanting a response to his challenge.

(Yes, that's trying to encourage you to read a great fanfic/book)

 

[Celestialphoenix]

The chest totally kicks butt and goes all Matrix style kung fu on Voldy and 30+ death eaters before beating the stuffing out of Harry and Co for good measure.

I wait until 21:00, then couple Harry's time turner to his Luggage forming a TARDIS, and just wing it. Whats the worst that could happen anyway?

 

[keybounce]

HEADMASTER shouted the sorting hat.
---

On stepping out of his time-turned luggage, Harry sees the chest, and a note, in his own handwriting, saying "Do not mess with time".

Harry then grabs a piece of paper, writes "Do not mess with time" on it, and goes back into the luggage to study.

===

I attempt to get Milo from Harry Potter and the Natural 20 to do some munchkin rules abuse with crafting and the chest.

 

[Someone Else 37]

The chest manages to warp the rules and keep itself intact and shut.

I throw the chest at a weapon trap armed with ten large serrated adamantine discs.

 

[RealKC]

The chest doesn't even care.

I use Liberty Prime's laser to attack the chest

<yes, go and play/see some videos of Fallout 4>

 

[Someone Else 37]

The chest's surface becomes a perfect mirror, reflecting the beam out into space.

I set up a few more mirrors, hoping to use the radiation pressure from the laser to shove the chest to... somewhere where it's less invulnerable.

 

[RealKC]

The chest uses the mirrors to incinerate you

I get a beautifull woman to make the chest jealous

 

[SpwnX]

the chest gets an even more beautiful woman and makes you jealous.

I give the chest a big chest plushie filled with explosives that will detonate remotely.

(whats the current chest health?)

 

[RealKC]

(Idk)

The chest puts the plushie in a gift and gives it to you it detonates when you open it.

I become and android using matter overdive, after that a synths and use the Institute's synths, the Minutemen and Liberty Prime to destroy the chest.

 

[jdog1408]

The chest moons you.

/execute @e[type=Chest] ban Chest

 

[gold49]

You are not a admin on the chest's server.

Also
Chest health:
88/100

I throw a baseball at 90℅ the speed of light torward the chest.