Destroy the Chest V.2/spin-off

[gold49]

The chest is jealous of how relaxed you are and shoots you with a laser gun.

I charge into the chest with a hover car

 

[trajing]

The hover car is transported to the upper layers of the atmosphere and stops hovering.

I taunt the chest.

 

[WitherBlaster]

The chest is not ammused. It forces itself out of my stomach and slaps you in the face.

I use my Pokédex to determine what type the chest is.

 

[trajing]

The pokedex overheats.

I saw a corner of the chest off.

 

[WitherBlaster]

The corner latches onto your face, sucks out your soul, and uses it to stick itself back on.

I give @trajing a new soul, and blast the chest with pressurized acid.

 

[playerismc]

The acid gets destroyed.

I insult the chest on french

 

[WitherBlaster]

The chest b#$&%-slaps you in the face.

I throw a canteloupe at it.
(What? The watermelon worked!)

 

[Celestialphoenix]

Only watermelon works.

I load the chest into Gmod and do this

 

[WitherBlaster]

The chest hacks gmod and makes it so that it's invincible in that game.

I pull the chest out of gmod and trap it in an ever-shrinking force field.
<sarcasm> Totally original, huh? </sarcasm>

 

[Celestialphoenix]

The force field shrink-wraps the chest, giving it extra protection.

I give the chest to Ramsay Bolton.

 

[gold49]

Ramsay tries to flay the chest, but the chest grabs the knife and chases Ramsey with it while yelling at him about his birthing.

I give the chest to a mule determined to open the chest and see which one is more stubborn.

 

[keybounce]

The mule and the chest become good friends.

(But it takes a while before they quit trying to one-up each other).

I try to drive the chest insane with samples of normal computer behavior.

 

[playerismc]

The chest goes away from you

I try to talk with the chest about feelings :3

 

[Gamefury64]

The chest insults you, your family, everyone/thing you ever liked or loved, then leaves.

Place the chest on a dolly, and dump it in a trash can.

 

[GamerwithnoGame]

Mysteriously, the Trash Can perceives the chest as filter, failing to void it.

I place the chest into a pipe that will lead into a void pipe.

 

[Celestialphoenix]

The chest floats around in the void.

I send Reika's Voidmonster after it.

 

[keybounce]

After a long battle, the chest has collected a large number of drops, and stored them inside.

I get an automatic wither machine, and drop the withers next to the chest.

 

[Celestialphoenix]

A short while later the chest is found happily chilling out on a throne of octuple compressed netherstar.

I give the chest some cookies.

 

[keybounce]

The chest opts out of cookies.

I sick the NSA on the chest

 

[Celestialphoenix]

The NSA see the chest as a security threat, calling in an international manhunt involving the FBI, CIA and full mobilisation of the US military forces costing billions in ultimate failure to locate the chest.
Then then hire a consultancy team to find out why they have no money and pass the chest of as a conspiracy theory.

I boop the chest.