#1 That's ignorance, not stupidity. Maybe even snobbish condescending. When I played vanilla, the entire community looked down on mods. We lost half the server when ftb dropped in 1.4.2. Nuff said.
#2 I find the concept of getting permission to play mods rather stupid. I adhere to it just to be in compliance with the community. But its a stupid, stupid concept to me. "Hey! I made a free mod for a game you paid for. I really want people to play with it. But I have a long list of stipulations before you play this free software that I gave away and can't stop you from doing whatever you want with."
Perms are stupid. I follow them, but to me, they are stupid. I can follow certain lines of thought about it, but I think they're stupid in general.
#3 Your friend knows what they want. That's actually a very clear thinking individual. I like your friend.