I was going to wait till I was here for a year to do this but I could never figure out what to write. Well now I just need to say thanks and it couldn't wait any longer. Please note what I'm about to tell you is my life story and I would appreciate if you took it as such.
So my name is Matt, I live in a family with 8 kids (so far) and my mom and dad. The thing with my family is I get beat up and picked on a lot. My older brothers treat me like something they would scrape off their shoes, and that is to say, shit. My parents aren't much better. My mom suffers from muscular dystrophy and is quit angry all the time since she has to be in a wheelchair. When she gets mad she will take it out on me, I dont make it easy for her admittedly, but still most of her anger is unjustified.
So I turned to video games as a release. After awhile I found FTB and modded minecraft through youtubers I watched on a regular basis. I came here after watching Generikb's first couple episodes of Agrarian skies. I searched agrarian skies in Google went to jaded's thread and asked how to install optifine with her pack. After that I pretty much ignored the forums for about 2 months. I started posting here because I had found a great server that put up with my non-sense. After that I found that the community was much more than "here is my pack/server play it". I found that there was life here, enough so to make me forget my troubles. Now skip forward to the school year. My parents make me stay home with the baby, so now I have 0 contact with the 4 or so people in the public school system that had ever been nice to me the forums were the answer to my loneliness. Skip forward to tonight, my mom comes flying down the hall on her power chair, runs up my foot and ankle, I hit her for the first time in my life. She screams for my dad to run quick, he comes, she tells him what happend and he pounds my shoulder. I glare at him and he slams me back against the counter and choked me saying "I better not catch you looking at me again or I will beat you till you're unable to move." So from there I go to my room lock my door and write this.
All my life its been like this, for example when I was five I wrote a note on my moms pillow saying "you aren't fair" and after I went to bed my dad came down yelled at me about "life isn't fair so grow the hell up." There are two things that keep me going and not giving into the thoughts of suicide that visit me almost daily, this place and my faith.
I have talked to my pastor before and he said running away would be a huge sin so I won't do that so for most things I have learned to just roll with, like nearly eternal verbal abuse. Every chance I get I come here to have a good time. I like so many posts not because I want to make a record, like I have been saying, but as a simple way to make someone else smile. So I thank you all for being there for me and keeping me from being either in a wooden box or in a psychiatric ward.
Some people I would especially like to thank: The FTB team, gideonseymour, dj., solomonAiel, derpysauce, padfoote, livingangrycheese, heilmewtwo, jordsta, goreae, xtordx, playerismc, skeletonpunk, thatoneslowking, erunation, rjs, nojr, thomaz, the_j, parcel, zoxeaeus, purplementat, pyure, strikingwolf, spwnx, chbachman, ljfa, coolsquid, iskandar, vikestep, trajing, ravynoushunter, drowelf, jedi, and many more
-----------------------------------------------
Sent From Something That You Won't Care About Using Tapatalk 2
So my name is Matt, I live in a family with 8 kids (so far) and my mom and dad. The thing with my family is I get beat up and picked on a lot. My older brothers treat me like something they would scrape off their shoes, and that is to say, shit. My parents aren't much better. My mom suffers from muscular dystrophy and is quit angry all the time since she has to be in a wheelchair. When she gets mad she will take it out on me, I dont make it easy for her admittedly, but still most of her anger is unjustified.
So I turned to video games as a release. After awhile I found FTB and modded minecraft through youtubers I watched on a regular basis. I came here after watching Generikb's first couple episodes of Agrarian skies. I searched agrarian skies in Google went to jaded's thread and asked how to install optifine with her pack. After that I pretty much ignored the forums for about 2 months. I started posting here because I had found a great server that put up with my non-sense. After that I found that the community was much more than "here is my pack/server play it". I found that there was life here, enough so to make me forget my troubles. Now skip forward to the school year. My parents make me stay home with the baby, so now I have 0 contact with the 4 or so people in the public school system that had ever been nice to me the forums were the answer to my loneliness. Skip forward to tonight, my mom comes flying down the hall on her power chair, runs up my foot and ankle, I hit her for the first time in my life. She screams for my dad to run quick, he comes, she tells him what happend and he pounds my shoulder. I glare at him and he slams me back against the counter and choked me saying "I better not catch you looking at me again or I will beat you till you're unable to move." So from there I go to my room lock my door and write this.
All my life its been like this, for example when I was five I wrote a note on my moms pillow saying "you aren't fair" and after I went to bed my dad came down yelled at me about "life isn't fair so grow the hell up." There are two things that keep me going and not giving into the thoughts of suicide that visit me almost daily, this place and my faith.
I have talked to my pastor before and he said running away would be a huge sin so I won't do that so for most things I have learned to just roll with, like nearly eternal verbal abuse. Every chance I get I come here to have a good time. I like so many posts not because I want to make a record, like I have been saying, but as a simple way to make someone else smile. So I thank you all for being there for me and keeping me from being either in a wooden box or in a psychiatric ward.
Some people I would especially like to thank: The FTB team, gideonseymour, dj., solomonAiel, derpysauce, padfoote, livingangrycheese, heilmewtwo, jordsta, goreae, xtordx, playerismc, skeletonpunk, thatoneslowking, erunation, rjs, nojr, thomaz, the_j, parcel, zoxeaeus, purplementat, pyure, strikingwolf, spwnx, chbachman, ljfa, coolsquid, iskandar, vikestep, trajing, ravynoushunter, drowelf, jedi, and many more
-----------------------------------------------
Sent From Something That You Won't Care About Using Tapatalk 2
Last edited:
