Destroy the Chest V.2/spin-off

[Someone Else 37]

The chest points out that it's more of an enderchest than a mundane chest, throwing your calculations off.

I take one end of a wormhole and throw it at the chest.

 

[Celestialphoenix]

The chest falls through the wormhole and drops out on your lap, purring softly.

I edit the chest's player.DAT file to my own name and log back into the world.

 

[Someone Else 37]

The chest falls through the wormhole and drops out on your lap, purring softly.

I edit the chest's player.DAT file to my own name and log back into the world.

The chest remains tightly sealed.

I take a drill bit and a pneumatic screwdriver and attempt to drill out the chest's hinges.

 

[keybounce]

The drill bit is blunted.

I show the chest an avatar that looks like a lady holding a staff against a backdrop of lighting strikes, and challenge it to find three interlocking triangles.

 

[Someone Else 37]

The drill bit is blunted.

I show the chest an avatar that looks like a lady holding a staff against a backdrop of lighting strikes, and challenge it to find three interlocking triangles.

The chest suggests that you look a few days into the past or into the future.

I take the chest and toss it into a prison stuffed with demons.

 

[keybounce]

Lacking a time machine in either direction, I can only look at the now. And the demons are apparently the guards in this prison. Just some poor, helpless drained prisoners.

But these dementors are ready to approach the chest, and try to drain it...

 

[Celestialphoenix]

The chest can cast a Patronus 2.0

I plug this into the chest's USB port.

 

[RealKC]

The chest gives this error: Error 9001: USB Partitions destroyed loading auxiliary systems.

I aks the chest if he's a male or a female

 

[Celestialphoenix]

The chest smears its face in fake blood and yells unintelligible obscenities and tells you to check your chest opening privileges. RealKC takes 3 damage from extra muscle.

I balance the chest on a skateboard and push it down a steep hill.

 

[RealKC]

The chest uses an OP crossbow from TiC and kill you.

I GO AROUND LIKE A BOSS WITH A DRACONIC STAFF OF POWER, DRACONIC ARMOR, RUNIC SHIELDING, SOMETHING THAT INCREASES MY LIFE, LOTS OF POTIONS EFFECTS AND SPAWN A CHOS GUARDIAN RIGHT NEXT TO THE CHEST AND WARP TO A SAFE BEDROCK BOX MADE USING BLOOD MAGIC TELEPOSERS!

 

[Celestialphoenix]

The chest is playing vanilla.

I put headphones on the chest and show it the Justin Bieber CD before making the offer "open up, or I'll play it to you again"

 

[RealKC]

The chest likes it.

I spawn 9001 Ender Dragons right next to the chest

 

[Celestialphoenix]

Dragons pass through it.

I toss an enderpearl through the keyhole.

We've destroyed the universe several times over and violated every law of physics- yet watermelons somehow managed to damage it.

The chest likes it.

However I think this sets a new record for most implausible thing ever seen in this thread. 5 points for Hufflepuff!

 

[RealKC]

An eye of ender comes out of the keyhole

I tell this to the chest: In order to obtain something, something else of equal value must be lost or destroyed - The Law of Equivalent Exchange, I then proceed to learn the chest how to human transmutation and sag that what will happen is going to be good.

(Google what happens when an alchemist tries to do human transmutation before answering!)

 

[keybounce]

The chest has the stone of permanence (how else could it manage to survive all this), and can safely do human transmutations.

(Hey, it's from HP:Mor and SD.

Since the chest liked music, lets try ... the song that never ends! Can I drive it insane?

 

[Celestialphoenix]

Not annoying enough- we need to up the ante. A couple of 3 year olds with violins.