Ask a stupid question...

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Because you are a pacifist.

Why doesn't Siri work?
And why does it work this one time when I want to prove how it doesn't?
 
Colored wool and some stone blocks.

Why does everyone have incredibly small signatures? I keep having chopping off bits to make room for more things.
 
Because big signatures are a waste of resources!

Is there a hidden message in "QWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM"?
 
Yes. Quasars Want Everything Round To Yellow Under Inferior Orbs Passing Animalistic Squids Dancing the Fandango Gregariously, Heralding Jousting Kittens Licking Zeolites, Xephoids, and Canaries Viciously. Banned for Naming Meteors.

Why are you a droideka?
 
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Because they're a lot stronger than plain ol' battle droids.

Why are there so many stupid people in the world?
 
Because somebody accidentally spilled four hundred pellets of light blue food coloring into the sky.

Why don't I have a bunch of random things on my desktop?
 
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Because your desktop is a logical one. It refuses to conform to your standards of laziness and chance. It will be logical, no matter the cost.

Where is herald?
 
Trumpeting for the King's return.

Give meaning to the following random words:
Herself dig she stun dogs eggs Steve waken Shyu even syndicated.
 
(you came to the right person.)
When dogs lay their eggs, they bury them for protection, then instinctively digs them up when they're close to hatching. A lady names shyu dug up a dog's eggs, and when the dog came for her eggs, Shyu stunned it and tried to run off with the eggs, but tripped, fell, and hit her head on a rock. When her boyfriend Steve woke her up the next day, she found people from the Puppy Syndicate standing over her bed. They offered her a job on the spot, and she accepted. Perfect sense.

Why do dogs lay eggs?
 
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(Now you're mentioning it I just became a cat owner two days ago, what a coincidence)

Because.
Why is the ice melting? Did anyone hurt it's feelings?