I can't be so objective.
Only analogy I can think of that comes close would be "You have a great body but your personality ruined it."
Some people might still get with them just for the looks(Mod in this case) but I'm not so desperate for his mod anyway.
I have a different perspective.
Quite frankly, as a mod pack compiler, it is my objective to present to my players a coherent and enjoyable environment to have fun in. Minecraft by itself is a sandbox. I'm also adding in a slide, see-saws, monkey bars... other things that are also fun to play with to make a neat and tidy little park, while still adhering to the city code (i.e. mod pack permissions and requirements for the FTB launcher) and minimizing the footprint.
As such, I look at the mods. Rarely do I look at the actions and antics of the mod developers, because rarely do they impact my users. When they do, for example, start crashing the game out of a hissy-fit, I ensure that those antics don't impact my users by simply not using those mods.
When shopping for contractors (mod authors), I look for several things. First, I want to be sure they actually ship in my region (can get permission). Second, I want to be sure they have a solid product. I don't want to install monkey-bars that break when kids swing on them. Then I look to see if it really fits the atmosphere of the park I am creating. Sure, a bounce-house would be a lot of fun for a lot of people, but it really doesn't fit in here.
If there are multiple contractors who produce a very similar item, then I look at them in context. Is one clearly superior to the other? Do they provide different 'fringe' functions which would still add to my users enjoyment? Then, all other things being equal, I look at the contractors themselves. Does one of them ship on time and the other is always late? Guess which one I'm going to pick.
I only really strike a mod based on the mod author's personality or actions when that personality or those actions can impact myself or my users, or if that mod author has such a bad reputation that my users demand it be removed. In a recent case, a mod author proved himself willing to crash the user deliberately. I cannot risk that happening again, so to protect my users, I won't use that product ever again. However, that was also a rather extreme case.
In most cases, a mod author's personality doesn't even enter the equation because I don't need to interact with the mod author to use their product. As long as they produce a good product, they can do whatever they like. But when that starts impacting the quality of their product, that's when I take notice and start making changes.
You compare it to dating, I compare it to a business relationship. The two are very different sorts of relationships, which is why we probably won't be able to agree on this topic. It's just a different way of looking at things.