A Forum Game To Pass The Time! (Corrupt A Wish)

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I don't think becoming goths is the best way to prevent problem teens from turning violent, but this is way off topic so I guess I'll just...

Wish granted, your head feels fine, but to everyone but you, it looks like you have long pink hair.

I wish I don't get blisters when I go for long walks.
 
Granted, however, you get blisters whenever you do anything else.

I wish humans didn't need to sleep.
 
Granted, they now die whenever they get tired.

I wish the barista had given me the right kind of coffee this morning.
 
Granted, except he forgot to heat it up... or add water, or sugar, or milk/cream, or a cup...
He threw beans in your face.

I wish could run my preferred mods on a more powerful computer rather than my current stripped choices and delicate balance of stability vs opportunity.
 
Granted, You have the most powerful computer in the world, but it uses so much electricity that you can only afford to play for 2 hours a month.
But for those 2 hours Ohhh MaAAan.

I wish I had time to play games.
 
Granted. You get fired from your job, giving you all the time in the world to play games.

I wish I didn't need as much sleep as I do.
 
Grnatde. (what? Typos are annoying for everyone involved!)

I wish all my friends watched Battlestar Galactica.
 
Granted. Valve bought BioWare instead (thRHREEEE?/??/ whaHTT iSI THIS foRirEGNnn woRDD?/?? no thREeE gaMES EVre)

I wish Valve would make Half-Life 3 already.
 
Granted, but it was so expensive, you had to sell your arms to afford it, thus rendering you unable to play it.

I wish microwaves worked faster.
 
Granted. They work so fast that they finish cooking before they start.

I wish my ignorant, sexist friends would just STFU already.
 
Granted. Soon, FTB becomes boring, and people stop using it.

I wish... for fish (my new go-to wish for when I don't know what to wish for).
 
Granted. Your code starts insulting you whenever you get syntax wrong instead.

I wish that Apple would stop being such asses and let the Battlestar Galactica soundtrack get released to the NZ iTunes store.
 
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Granted, he changes one recipe and makes everything else even harder

I wish more people would say happy birthday to me (It's my birthday today)
 
ERROR: Wish is unable to be granted. Doing so would tear apart the very fabric of space and time, and leave us with nothing but the Horrorterrors of the Furthest Ring to keep us from insanity (provided we survived).

I wish more people on these forums would notice my not-so-subtle webcomic references.

EDIT: Unintended wish grant recipient, but I guess it still works. Anyway, Happy Birthd-*static*
 
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