Strange/Useless powers.

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The ability to instantly find back into a thread after not following for a while
Huzzah!
 
The ability to have a full set of friends and family that don't hate, or at least, dislike you.
Isn't that useful? So that you won't have friends like Cheese?

Also, the ability to photosynthesize, but only in a dark place.
 
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The ability to have hardware that doesn't boot when its cold.

Did I already mention that my computer problems are weird?
 
The ability for BOTH of your Operating Systems to suddenly stop working, right before you are given a large homework task.
 
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Pretty much like my situation, but instead of homework for me there were massive game updates.


The power to dig a hole but only with a shovel.
 
That is very useful.

The power to spray graffiti out of your hand.

Wait fuck that's also useful.