Discussion in 'Feed the Beast News' started by Jadedcat, Sep 4, 2013.

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  1. MilConDoin

    MilConDoin New Member

    Jaded, you will be missed by us all. Granted, we two didn't talk that much on TS, but I remember your enthusiasm you had about FTB and the wiki back then very well. Thanks again for pulling me into the wiki team.
    May your future shine bright on you and all the best of luck for the road ahead.
  2. QueWhat

    QueWhat New Member

    Jaded, we only spoke a few times but you have a personality not oft found about, one that will most definitely be missed. May your future endeavors be successful and full of happiness!
    __Miguel_ likes this.
  3. Jadedcat

    Jadedcat New Member

    I came back to clear up a few things:

    • I did not quit over the proposed conversion to a business. I have known about that for quite a while and very much approve.
    • I am not quitting minecraft or Forgecraft just FTB and streaming.
    Basically I need a break. I tried taking a short break but I kept getting involved in responsibilities and duty and not actually lowering my stress level. Its been around a year since I started with FTB and streaming. In all that time I haven't taken any time off. Even when I went to PAX East I was still checking the forums moderating and troubleshooting. I had 1 week off where I was ill (not very relaxing) .

    When I started streaming I enjoyed it. It was fun to have people to talk to. I loved learning new mods and trying new things. And I loved being able to have debates about politics religion etc.I joined FTB at Slow's request as a Global Moderator. I was good at being the pitbull on the team. I was unbiased and never took personal feelings into consideration. When I joined Forgecraft I was always up for testing anything, putting things together in new ways. I never tried to break mods I was just playing. As time went on I took over the wiki and found a great team to make content. It stalled a few times but it kept slowly moving forward and I enjoyed writing articles to share what I had learned about various mods. I made friends with people and I had fun. In fact between March and June I was the happiest I have been in my life. I had created a modpack I liked, and had friends to talk to and jobs for FTB that I enjoyed. In June I received a lot of bad news. Not about me, but life just kept hitting me with things. I did my best to remain cheerful and pulled away from friends to keep them from worrying to much.. I threw myself even more into FTB. About the same time frame streaming started to not be fun. I felt like I had to be cheerful when I felt anything but. And I stopped streaming. Even when I tried to stream it was hard. Once I started working on the FTB modpacks it got even worse. If I showed up anywhere people wanted to demand answers from me. And while I like helping people there's a point at which its too much. Sometimes I just wanted to be with my friends but I couldn't because if people heard me talking they started demanding answers and ETA's. I'd constantly get messaged on IRC, the forums, and email, even youtube... where I don't even have any content.

    People had been attacking me in DW's video comments ever since I started appearing on them. I got to the point where I could just ignore them most of the time by just not reading the comments. But as my stream got larger people started attacking me on twitch. And they didn't stay with just my channel, they would attack me in any channel I talked in. I got death and rape threats almost every day, plus the regular hate mail. Everything from my voice, to my conversational topics to my intelligence was constantly under attack. And very few people could separate me and my personality and personal opinions from FTB. It was like if I said anything I had to be incredibly diplomatic or people would attack me because I was FTB staff and the community felt I couldn't have an opinion of my own that disagreed or differed from FTB's. And people who don't even know me suddenly seemed to think they had a right to meddle in my life and comment on my friendships. Even to the point of pestering my friends.

    I love making modpacks, I love adjusting configs and testing mods. But the amount of time needed for me to test every combination of mods across 3 modpacks meant I had to spend 14-20 hours a day doing nothing but testing. No making the massive builds I loved. No fiddling with bee and tree breeding. Just testing and more testing. I didn't even have time to play on Forgecraft for fun.

    I never wanted to be famous/infamous. It makes me unhappy when people tell me they lose viewers if I go live. I do not believe people should weigh in on my friendships. Who I like and dislike should have no importance to anyone but me and maybe the people involved. I don't make friends with people because they make a mod, or are a famous streamer or youtuber etc. I make friends because I like them as people and they like me as a person not some imaginary conjuration based on a few comments or rants etc. I want to be free to not have my every statement or relationship judged by random people I have never met. There are people I don't get along with or that actively irritate me, that doesn't make them bad people it just means our personalities don't mesh well. And it doesn't make me a bad person for admitting I don't get along with them or find them irritating. There was a point where very few people knew who I was. Even now very few people really know what I did other then stream and be a moderator. I prefer it that way. I prefer being in the background. I like the shadows. I like being free to make decisions and statements without everyone jumping to judge me for them. I like having friends that don't make demands on me and don't care if I am an absolute nobody.

    Right now I need a break. I need to recharge my energy. I need to try and relax. Maybe I'll move or go on a trip. Do something just for me. I just don't have the energy to deal with the constant hate and poison being thrown at me. Even if I could have taken that the instant the community started meddling in my friendships and caused damage it went too far. My friends will always matter more to me then anything. Between the meddling and the hate I have no energy left. Plus I have been using FTB as an excuse to avoid dealing with real life issues. As long as I am an active member of FTB I will keep using it as excuse to avoid dealing with things and making decisions I need to make. I don't know what I will be doing next. I do know I won't be back unless or until I can find a way to deal with the negativity thats been thrown my way so much. I just can't do that while I am stressed. So I need a vacation.. anyone got a tropical island they aren't using?
  4. Ashzification

    Ashzification New Member

    I have access to a time-share I'd be happy to lend you :)
  5. Rishenda

    Rishenda New Member

    Wow Jaded... I certainly did not see this coming. You will be missed. I love the way you called a spade a spade.
    I hope that life deals you some better hands and that you re-energise and get your love back for all the things that you have been enjoying doing.

    Take care and enjoy life.
    Salmissra3 (on Twitch)
    Flipz likes this.
  6. Bashful Giant

    Bashful Giant New Member

    Wow- I only just found out. I'm 100% behind your decision.If a hobby is no longer fun, then stop. Will I miss your occasional witty comments on the forums, your infinite knowledge of bees(I could swear you're a Biologist! Or at least know your punnet squares) or your awesome streams? Yes. But if they're just serving to stress you out, then who am I to stop you? Use your new-found me-time wisely.

    On a side note to those asshats on the Internet that feel they have the god-given right to send abusive, vindictive, threatening or cruel messages to streamers or Youtubers- remember. Behind that seemingly cheerful persona is a person. A living, breathing person, just like you, who makes the videos for YOUR enjoyment. They may be having a shit day- family may have died, their boss may have been yelling At them all day- they may have just broken up with a loved one. More often than not, they'll put on a smile for the cameras, and try to entertain you. It may not be your cup of tea. You may really dislike what they do for some reason. You know what you do? Nothing. Because that person is trying to make the world better. Rant over.
  7. QueWhat

    QueWhat New Member

    Alas, if only everyone thought the same way. Sadly however, plenty of ill-minded individuals like to conjure false statements and false friendships in order to climb the popularity ladder. It doesn't work that way, but as long as there are inconsiderate people in the world there will be people who purposefully hurt others.

    Your decision is respected greatly by many of us, and understood. We all have at one point or another burned out. Quitting/Taking a break is the best thing you can do right now. You always have to remember to be your own best friend and take of yourself first!

    PS: I recommend a Caribbean cruise if you can!
  8. iRandomness

    iRandomness New Member

    It's such a shame some people + life have to bring it all down to quitting point. Life's a bitch, eh?

    Always been fun leaving your stream open in the background while playing Minecraft myself, most of the reason I can still even play Minecraft for long periods of time. Here's to hoping you (Eventually) make a triumphant return, hopefully when people aren't douchenozzles.

    You'll be missed by plenty, see ya around, Jaded!
  9. moondrixx

    moondrixx New Member

    Never Surrender

    I will not throw up my arms
    I will never call retreat
    I will not turn and run away
    From the truth and what I believe.
    I will always stand my ground
    I will protect what I know is mine
    I will not leave any conflict unanswered
    And from that position I will not resign.
    No matter the size of any man
    Or the powers of his rifles or cannons
    Or the strength of his army or his wealth
    No one will I ever abandon.
    What I have is mine to own
    And my property to no one will I yield
    As I will not give up what I know is mine
    And to no man will I ever kneel.
    I will stand by my honor
    Until that day that I die
    And never will I give up on myself
    As if anything I will always have my pride.
    I will never cower to anyone
    I will never forget the fight
    No matter of my consequences
    No matter of my strength or your might.
    I will always stand by my honor
    And in my blood and sweat they will remember
    That I was here and I stood my ground
    And too no-one would I surrender.

    even if FTB cant wait for you, your fans will, i hate to be a fan boy and stuff but, and as much as you may not be leave this, you changed my life, so if you ever do come back we will still be here. and for the time between, we will miss you. :)

  10. tedyhere

    tedyhere New Member

    Jaded, I have watched you stream many many times and listened to numerous debates between you and Slowpoke and I will miss those. That being said, you have to do what is best for you. I will just keep on playing and enjoying your modpack as long as it is there.

    Until we speak again, as goodbyes are hard and I dislike them.

    Take care and best wishes to you,

    Eyamaz likes this.
  11. b0h

    b0h New Member

    Humans are disgusting pieces of something impossible to define with a polite word.
    What they did to you is sick.
    I'm so ashamed to be of the same race as them. And I'm not talking about the color of the skin or other racist crap.

    You have all my understanding , and the whole problem that, as always, all the people who respect others are the ones who really lose something.
    A hug, even if we don't know each other.
  12. Tim B

    Tim B New Member

    Someone setup a donation thingy so we can apologize on behalf of the people who have treated her with disrespect, in whatever way that is, and so she can have a great holiday with a little extra luxury :)
    (I would do personally it if I had the time, but expect a donation from me if it's setup) :)
    Flipz, Eyamaz and Ashzification like this.
  13. Ember Quill

    Ember Quill Well-Known Member

    Ugh. People. People are disgusting. Most of them just shouldn't be allowed to use the Internet.

    Well, I'll reiterate what I said before. I'm a little sad to see you go, although I wouldn't dare to beg you to stay if this is the kind of crap you had to deal with.
    Bashful Giant likes this.
  14. moondrixx

    moondrixx New Member

    jaded's donate button is still on her twitch page, go naow!
    erdubya and Bashful Giant like this.
  15. Bashful Giant

    Bashful Giant New Member


    Wait... I'm on the Internet.

    *sits down*
  16. Suave

    Suave New Member

    I'm not sure how much this will mean to you but you were a wonderful member of the FTB team, and a great inspiration to me and others, you were an incredible streamer, you lit up so many peoples faces with laughter and joy for that you will be missed greatly. I hope all goes well for you in the future and maybe one day return to stream if at all possible.
  17. Jim1971

    Jim1971 New Member

    I am one (of what I assume to be MANY) of the lurkers that sat quietly in the background watching your streams and enjoying every minute of it... between the gameplay and the banter with the forgecraft players you have have brought me many hours of enjoyment.

    I wish you well on your journey, and I hope someday you can return, but after reading all you have had to say on the subject I can understand if you don't.
  18. Bellaabzug21

    Bellaabzug21 New Member

    I am so, so sorry that you had to go through that. I know I can't apologize for the people insulting you, but I can say that it is truly horrid that their cruel words ruined the experience for you. Just try to remember that for every person that's thanking god for seeing you go, there's ten more that are crying.
  19. loupduqc

    loupduqc New Member

    I really don't understand why there's peoples hating on you...
    You've always been a nice girl that did add lot of fun in the DW forgecraft videos that I watch every day and I liked watching your live-streams when I was able too D:

    I'll be glad to see you back once you feel like streaming once again
  20. Flipz

    Flipz New Member

    I cannot like this comment enough.
    Bashful Giant likes this.
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