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xTordX

New Member
Jul 29, 2019
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Awesomeness: I somehow foind a weird usb cable with an iPhone head. I turned on my computer just so it would charge. i'm now writing from my laptop. Soon i'll have to charge my laptop and make a mess of a cable loop. o/
 

ThomazM

Phoenix Team Founder
Jun 11, 2013
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2,514
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The Immortal's Cemetery
Character Sheet - Christopher Watson:
Appearance (Picture preferred):
anime-anime-boy-cute-glasses-handsome-Favim.com-404762.jpg


Name: Christopher Watson
Age: 22 years old.
Gender: Male.
Sexuality: Straight.
Talents: Higher-than-average intelligence, musical skills, sense of leadership.
Personality & Backstory(one paragraph minimum):
Christopher always was, and intends to continue being a completely silent figure - he very rarely speaks, only when strictly necessary. It's a rather common mistake to imagine him as an arrogant person, which he really isn't - he's introverted, to say the least. Somewhat socially awkward, which probably helps in his genuine dislike to speak. His intelligence is also worth noticing - academically speaking, he was a few years ahead of his class mates, being capable of resolving math and logical problems from several classes ahead of his. Study was a major part of his life, not voluntarily, but for lack of other more interesting activities to distract him instead - after his parents died in a car accident, Christopher went to live with his grandparents, however, there was literally nothing to distract a kid in the there - the only thing remotely interesting was his grandpa's personal library, which contained this huge variety of books from all imaginable places, containing all imaginable subjects. This made Christopher's interest for reading stir in a very early age, which most likely than not, caused his premature first step into the academic world. After his grandparents died, he was already old enough to inherit the house, and consequently, all it contained: furniture, books, paintings, and last but not least, his grandpa's grand white piano. His love for music was always encouraged by his grandpa, which knew how to play in an almost Celtic-like fashion. He taught Christopher how to play, and not that surprisingly, he felt in love with it right away. It was easy to hear him practicing late at night, when his grandparent's went to sleep, being careful to not wake them up. Another thing worth mentioning, is his unexplainable sense of leadership in certain situations - it's probably tied to his always rational thinking, which in most cases always solved most problems he found himself in. But that's pretty much it, after inheriting his grandparent's money, he pretty much doesn't need to work - he already did a few auditions, just for fun, however. He passes most of his time writing, composing or reading - he lives a comfortable, relaxing,extremely dull life.​
Current occupation: Unemployed.
Extra: Most people call him by his surname, "Watson" ~ Christopher suffers from a small case of insomnia.
 
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HeilMewTwo

New Member
Jul 29, 2019
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It's good, actually. A few punctuations missing here and there, but those specific places are usually just used to make everything flow more easily, so it's excusable.
Mind giving me an example so I can do it correctly next time?
 

Nisteth

New Member
Jul 29, 2019
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Mind giving me an example so I can do it correctly next time?
I'll put the corrections in bold italics.
|Daniel|
|The bar|

Daniel was in a good mood. The day was clear, the birds were singing, and there were plenty of women that were smiling back. Alas, he had business to take care of soon, so he turned slowly to the barkeeper, the sounds of his pants on the leather of the stool making an amusing squeak, and his smile broadening as he ordered another drink, just to 'get himself ready for the long day ahead of him', he explained (to who? the bartender, I assume?).

When the drink did finally came back, he drank it in one go, letting out a satisfied sigh and wiping his face when he was done. He went to get his coat by the door, however he noticed something in (his, the, depends on personal preference) pocket. It was a black card that said in white letters: "It is time". His smile becoming unnaturally large, Daniel started to giggle. "Oh, today is going to be a wonderful day".

He strolled to the door, whistling a tune. It was finally time to have some fun.
Bold/italics couldn't help much, but most of them were just comma/period placement and where sentences should end.
 

GPuzzle

New Member
Jul 29, 2019
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They were less about punctuation and more about word correction.

Then again, I can't really provide any meaningful feedback whatsoever, my mind is in Portguese as its automode.
 

Nisteth

New Member
Jul 29, 2019
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Let's just say it was about 50/50. Punctuation and wording both go hand in hand and let the words flow more easily, but being good at both takes time/understanding of how the language works. English is weird, man.

Like, "before" and "after" are pretty much defined by one another. How even?
 

GPuzzle

New Member
Jul 29, 2019
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Let's just say it was about 50/50. Punctuation and wording both go hand in hand and let the words flow more easily, but being good at both takes time/understanding of how the language works. Language is weird, man.

Like, "before" and "after" are pretty much defined by one another. How even?

Fixed that for you, mate.
 
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xTordX

New Member
Jul 29, 2019
576
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Calm yer horzes ther fellas! We wouldn't fancy a war here, wouldya? hehe!
^no typos^