Strange/Useless powers.

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The power to talk to people while asleep, but since you're asleep, you can't remember anything you said.

And I speak for experience when I say, it is beyond useless, it can fuck up your day before you've even started it.
 
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The power to talk to people while asleep, but since you're asleep, you can't remember anything you said.

The power to tell when you are talking to an asleep person, and know not to take what they say seriously.

It is useless -- it turns a discussion into a no-op. But lacking that is worse than useless -- from experience, I can tell you that you get into all sorts of arguments later.
 
the power to make everyone laugh- but only at the most serious and inappropriate of times, like funerals.

the power to scream... but only in sound proof closets (I think they exist?).