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I try to direct the people anywhere other than this "party", noting that Halloween isn't for another six months or so, then throw some sponges at the red water from a safe distance.

The person below gets a few sponges soaked in quite toxic red water.
 
I use the sponges and the water for evil experiments

the person below me gets an gigantic all eating monster or death and destruction, it also has chosen you as its next victim.
 
I drag the gigantic all-eating monster or death and destruction from the time stream back in time a few minutes, and send it right back at you.

The person below me gets a gigantic all-eating monster or death and destruction that's aggroed at Lens.
 
I let it meet Glistening oil. making it join phyrexia and making it want perfection

The person below me gets an gigantic all eating monster that wants that all is one and does everything to get the great work done.
 
Once again, I drag it back in time, take control of it, and send it back at you, taking care to not actually let it touch my surface and corrupt me again.

The person below me gets a Phyrexian abomination that is, once again, angry at Lens.
 
I calm it down and make tell it ll about great idiotic Yawgmoth and you and urza making it angry and hate you I also make sure that it

gets a gigantic all eating monster that wants karn death
 
I planeswalk somewhere else.

The person below me gets a gigantic all eating monster that is suddenly wondering where I went.
 
I find a spark for him and make it able to always know where you went

person below me gets that monster
 
I pull the same trick on your planeswalking monster that I used on the Sliver Queen back on Rath: I reason with it, show it that I don't want to harm it in any way, and eventually get it to stop trying to follow and kill me.

The person below gets a peaceful monster.
 
I get the peaceful monster and connect it to a censored version of the hive mind, making it only know at any time the bad things that have come because of you making it go insane and enraged

the person below me gets above monster that can not be reasoned with and only wants karn and co death.
 
I lure it to Zhalfir, drag it back to shortly before Teferi removed the entire kingdom from the time stream, then planeswalk away.

The person below gets a kingdom-sized patch of bare rock that used to contain the kingdom of Zhalfir as well as Lens's monster.
 
oh look more matter we can use for the great work. also monster planeswalks away

person below me gets another encounter with said monster
 
... You do know that Zhalfir basically doesn't exist anymore following Teferi's actions, right? Anyhow, I drag it your monster back in time to post-Memnarch Mirrodin, and throw it into the world's mana core.

Edit: The person below gets to watch.
 
I note the exact location and make sure that new phyrexia will find it when the war breaks out.

gets a time change in favor of phyrexia
 
I point out that Mirrodin (and Scars, for that matter) were released back when mana burn was still a thing, so your monster will be fried long before the war begins in earnest.

The person below gets the Ornithopter that Lens is insisting that I don't chump block with.
 
I infect the ornithopter and make it perfect

person below gets an infected ornithopter, use with caution he may hate you.
 
I say meh to your ornithopter, since its power is zero and it therefore can't infect me.

The person below gets an annoying thingy that's currently flapping around my head.
 
I use it to make a combo

the person below me gets an infinite amount of damage from different sources to the face.
 
*cough* Channel Harm *cough*

player below me gets a dead creature

edit: now that I think about it what would happen if I targeted the stuffy doll?
is there a super mega duper combo here?
 
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