A quick summary, with years excluded as to not reveal my age.
I'm quiet, to myself, and I haven't had any IRL friends. I started off with OCD, but I ignored it and kept things as disorderly as possible. It's gotten better, to the point where I can't even tell if I have it anymore or not.
Early on, I was quiet, and didn't talk the entire day, only eating a few bites of lunch before tossing my tray. The teachers got worried, and I was also placed into a speech class, but it didn't help... because there was nothing to help, and that was my standard. People around me didn't pick on me at all, and to this day they still don't. I have no clue why, possibly because I'm quiet/tall, but otherwise there's no reason for them to not pick on me. A bit later, I started dreading school more and more, to the point where I stopped thinking and just put myself on a routine, like a machine. I woke up, went to school, came home, did all my work (Slowly, I could only write about one sentence per hour without breaking down from random stress), and went to bed. Some days I didn't finish my work, so I did it the next day. If not that day, then the next... and so forth until it was too late for me to turn it in. I never cared to check my grades, but I did check the test that I had to do at the end of the year, and I was placed in advanced under everything. That helped, psychologically, but otherwise I didn't mind.
Soon after, things became harder, and quickly at that. The teachers started becoming more ignorant, but I was like them, so they started treating me as if I actually was a teacher. That helped, but a principal can't be persuaded. I started coming to school a few seconds late daily, and I racked up a few detentions and in-school detentions. It didn't matter, and I almost insulted them on the "What are the consequences of my actions?" paper I was given, by stating incredibly ironic and obvious answers. Needless to say I stopped receiving those papers.
Now, my emotionally null state is slowly changing. For the best or the worst, I wouldn't know, since currently I remain immune to any attempts of bullying, either through unintentional fear factors or otherwise (I actually got invited to a gang, instead of being beaten up by it. I declined, obviously, but it's become more apparent to me that I have the ability to set things off whenever I so please), but if I become more social... that shield may break. I'm ready to snap at any moment, from stress built up over the years, and I don't want it to happen now. I need to be at home, otherwise I don't think I can come back mentally.
I've never studied in my entire life, so I usually have lots of free time. I've started thinking about things, psychological and physical. I've started looking into programming, computation, calculation and the like. I've started to speed up again. But, the faster you're going, the more likely you are to crash, even from the smallest bump in the road. One push would have destroyed me earlier, and I'm approaching that point once more.
I'm quiet, to myself, and I haven't had any IRL friends. I started off with OCD, but I ignored it and kept things as disorderly as possible. It's gotten better, to the point where I can't even tell if I have it anymore or not.
Early on, I was quiet, and didn't talk the entire day, only eating a few bites of lunch before tossing my tray. The teachers got worried, and I was also placed into a speech class, but it didn't help... because there was nothing to help, and that was my standard. People around me didn't pick on me at all, and to this day they still don't. I have no clue why, possibly because I'm quiet/tall, but otherwise there's no reason for them to not pick on me. A bit later, I started dreading school more and more, to the point where I stopped thinking and just put myself on a routine, like a machine. I woke up, went to school, came home, did all my work (Slowly, I could only write about one sentence per hour without breaking down from random stress), and went to bed. Some days I didn't finish my work, so I did it the next day. If not that day, then the next... and so forth until it was too late for me to turn it in. I never cared to check my grades, but I did check the test that I had to do at the end of the year, and I was placed in advanced under everything. That helped, psychologically, but otherwise I didn't mind.
Soon after, things became harder, and quickly at that. The teachers started becoming more ignorant, but I was like them, so they started treating me as if I actually was a teacher. That helped, but a principal can't be persuaded. I started coming to school a few seconds late daily, and I racked up a few detentions and in-school detentions. It didn't matter, and I almost insulted them on the "What are the consequences of my actions?" paper I was given, by stating incredibly ironic and obvious answers. Needless to say I stopped receiving those papers.
Now, my emotionally null state is slowly changing. For the best or the worst, I wouldn't know, since currently I remain immune to any attempts of bullying, either through unintentional fear factors or otherwise (I actually got invited to a gang, instead of being beaten up by it. I declined, obviously, but it's become more apparent to me that I have the ability to set things off whenever I so please), but if I become more social... that shield may break. I'm ready to snap at any moment, from stress built up over the years, and I don't want it to happen now. I need to be at home, otherwise I don't think I can come back mentally.
I've never studied in my entire life, so I usually have lots of free time. I've started thinking about things, psychological and physical. I've started looking into programming, computation, calculation and the like. I've started to speed up again. But, the faster you're going, the more likely you are to crash, even from the smallest bump in the road. One push would have destroyed me earlier, and I'm approaching that point once more.
