I like having other to play with as well. It really does add to the experience. The problem is, I have to make a ton of sacrifices for it.
And it's not just for me. There's a friend of mine that absolutely loves playing with me, and I feel like if I don't include her, I'm a jerk. I'd actually be ok with just posting my videos in the showcase forum if it wasn't for that albatross around my neck, lol. But, it's always been one thing after another. First the ps4 version, which only works if I leave my playstation on and can never use it for anything else. Then, we did the Win10 version which also requires my PC to be on, which wouldn't have been a big deal, except it can't even run in the background and stay up. Hell, at least on the PS4 I could still use netflix. So, tried a realms server. Not terribly expensive, but it's super buggy and you can't go into the files to fix it, so we had to move on to a real hosting site. This actually worked great, but by the time you get a decent modpack going, it was costing something like $30 a month, which is just nuts.
I appreciate the offer, but I'm not really a joiner of things. I have to have the server work exactly how I want it. I'm going to try hosting it myself on my own PC. I can dedicate a core to the server and I have RAM out the wazoo. And at least this way, I can tweak the modpack at will and just send her an occasional zip file.
And maybe the other dude will get more ram for that server, but the more I think about it, the more I reach the inevitable conclusion that the only way to run a public server like that is to kill the draw distance and I really don't want to do that. I build to live in the world, those chunks aren't just superfluous. They're the whole point for me. That's why I spend sometimes days finding good seeds.
Edit: Sorry, don't mean to whine. I'm just finding this whole thing frustrating. I sound like "If only I didn't have friends that want to spend time playing my favorite game with me! Why me??" lol. But, it can be frustrating!