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Tune down graphics, and try spreading out stuff over chunks. Everything in one area lowers your framerate. Also a reccomendation is to go into creative and generating an area around your spawn before playing so you do not have to deal with land generation as much when you spawn(assuming you build near spawn, this should help) and the reason optifine is a no-no is because how many mods it breaks
with some personal tweaking I've been able to get it working myself.
but nowadays it's better to just not use Optifine anymore, there's just so many incompatibilities with other mods