How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck a plunger in the toilet
They stuck a plunger in the toilet
Let's tell some jokes!
- Thread starter pizzawolf14
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A guy called into work and says, "Hey, boss! What's the difference between work and your daughter?" ... "I'm not coming into work this morning!"
Your spoilers are messed up I can't see them on tapatalk
Sent From Something That You Won't Care About Using Tapatalk 2
Sent From Something That You Won't Care About Using Tapatalk 2
Then its just me but either way they are messed up
Sent From Something That You Won't Care About Using Tapatalk 2
Sent From Something That You Won't Care About Using Tapatalk 2
Bubba dies in a fire and his body is pretty badly burned. The morgue sends for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer, to identify the body.
Daryl arrives first, and when the mortician pulls back the sheet, Daryl says, "Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better roll him over."
The mortician rolls him over, and Daryl says, "Nope, ain't Bubba."
The mortician thinks this is strange. Then he brings Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer takes a look at the face and says, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over."
The mortician rolls him over and Gomer says, "No, it ain't Bubba."
The mortician asks, "How can you tell?"
Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two a**holes."
"What? He had two a**holes?!" exclaims the mortician.
"Yup, every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two a**holes.'"
Daryl arrives first, and when the mortician pulls back the sheet, Daryl says, "Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better roll him over."
The mortician rolls him over, and Daryl says, "Nope, ain't Bubba."
The mortician thinks this is strange. Then he brings Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer takes a look at the face and says, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over."
The mortician rolls him over and Gomer says, "No, it ain't Bubba."
The mortician asks, "How can you tell?"
Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two a**holes."
"What? He had two a**holes?!" exclaims the mortician.
"Yup, every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two a**holes.'"
HeilMewTwo is probably a beast at Cards Against Humanity 
So there was an engineer who died, and went up to Heaven. At the pearly gates, St. Peter said 'I'm really sorry, but you haven't been good enough to go to Heaven.' The floor opens up beneath him and he falls the way down to Hell.
In Hell, Satan greets the engineer warmly, and gives him a long list of tasks to do. Pretty soon Hell becomes quite a pleasant place, with air conditioning, modern plumbing, and electricity.
About 3 months after the engineer arrives, God rings Satan. "Hey Satan, having fun down in Hell?" he asks mockingly.
"Actually yeah, I am," replies Satan, "This engineer you sent us is doing fantastic work refitting the entire place."
"An ENGINEER!" shouts God. "You aren't supposed to have engineers down there. Send him back at once or I'll take you to court!"
"Oh yeah," Satan laughs, "and just where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?"
So there was an engineer who died, and went up to Heaven. At the pearly gates, St. Peter said 'I'm really sorry, but you haven't been good enough to go to Heaven.' The floor opens up beneath him and he falls the way down to Hell.
In Hell, Satan greets the engineer warmly, and gives him a long list of tasks to do. Pretty soon Hell becomes quite a pleasant place, with air conditioning, modern plumbing, and electricity.
About 3 months after the engineer arrives, God rings Satan. "Hey Satan, having fun down in Hell?" he asks mockingly.
"Actually yeah, I am," replies Satan, "This engineer you sent us is doing fantastic work refitting the entire place."
"An ENGINEER!" shouts God. "You aren't supposed to have engineers down there. Send him back at once or I'll take you to court!"
"Oh yeah," Satan laughs, "and just where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?"
Haven't played that game and pretty good. @pizzawolf14 we should invite him to our convo so he can see how sick we really are.HeilMewTwo is probably a beast at Cards Against Humanity
So there was an engineer who died, and went up to Heaven. At the pearly gates, St. Peter said 'I'm really sorry, but you haven't been good enough to go to Heaven.' The floor opens up beneath him and he falls the way down to Hell.
In Hell, Satan greets the engineer warmly, and gives him a long list of tasks to do. Pretty soon Hell becomes quite a pleasant place, with air conditioning, modern plumbing, and electricity.
About 3 months after the engineer arrives, God rings Satan. "Hey Satan, having fun down in Hell?" he asks mockingly.
"Actually yeah, I am," replies Satan, "This engineer you sent us is doing fantastic work refitting the entire place."
"An ENGINEER!" shouts God. "You aren't supposed to have engineers down there. Send him back at once or I'll take you to court!"
"Oh yeah," Satan laughs, "and just where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?"
I nicked some crisps while being carried by 3 vampires. I got arrested for shoplifting on three counts.
My grandfather used to talk about how back in his day, people just left their doors open. I'd always wondered why his submarine mysteriously sank during the war.
My grandfather used to talk about how back in his day, people just left their doors open. I'd always wondered why his submarine mysteriously sank during the war.
Do you wanna join too @pc_assassin?
Warning: You are not allowed to report us for the jokes there. They are extremely offensive and not meant to be taken seriously.
Warning: You are not allowed to report us for the jokes there. They are extremely offensive and not meant to be taken seriously.
If I find a good one I will post it
Sent From Something That You Won't Care About Using Tapatalk 2
Who is a turk's farvourite pop star? Ma'Donner
I used to know a song about a taco, but to be honest, its more of a wrap.
I used to know a song about a taco, but to be honest, its more of a wrap.
Man walks into the doctors with a frog on his head.
Doctor says "wow! How did this start?"
Frog says, "well it started as a wart on my bum."
Doctor says "wow! How did this start?"
Frog says, "well it started as a wart on my bum."