I have found that if you want to dictate your own play experience, the best course of action is to create your own pack. Everyone has a different definition of how much is too much when it comes to resource sink and level of grind, so take the wheel and decide for yourself. Using Curse to create modpacks is incredibly easy, and other than a few rare Potion/biome ID fixes, most packs just work.
It takes some work to config the pack to your desire, and tweaking ore spawning can be daunting until you get a grasp on it, but even those are just trial and error and play testing. Mods like NoMoreRecipeConflicts works nicely to avoid uncraftable items due to recipe overlap, and once identified, mods like Minetweaker can rewrite the recipes no no longer conflict (again, it you take the time to polish it - if you're OK with it, just run as is).
What's nice as well, you don't have 30 mods in your pack that you don't have any intention of touching eating up system resources. Start with a small core of mods (preferred world gen included) and add to it slowly as you discover needs/wants. Always backup before tinkering, of course