Corrupt a Wish

[manmaed]

Your task is simple:
Grant the wish made by the user above you, while at the same time corrupting it in whatever way you wish to make it different than what the previous user originally intended.
Afterwards, you make your own wish, which in turn will be corrupted by the next user.

For example:

I wish I had a million dollars.

Granted. You now have one million dollars.
In monopoly money.
I wish I had a steak.

Granted. It's made out of rubber.
I wish Batman was real.

Etc.
I'll start.

*ahem*

I wish I had magical powers.

 

[TeamDman]

Granted, your power is to turn into a tree, forever.

I wish I legally owned a credit card with infinite balance!

 

[MrMonsterGuy18]

Granted. The card will balance on any surface

I wish I had a cat

 

[Charlie J. Whitford]

Wish granted.

Enjoy your Porcelin Cat.

I wish I had a better computer.

 

[Bigdbigd03]

Granted. Enjoy your computer that makes bets.

I wish I could have a piece of paper.

 

[BeanPal]

Granted, but it folds itself to the point of becoming so dense that it explodes

I wish taco with sweet mango sauce

 

[Bigdbigd03]

Your wish that sweet mango sauce could talk... Oh! It was granted.

I wish I could be less tired sometimes.

 

[GamerwithnoGame]

You are fully rested, you are never tired - you cannot sleep. Your wish is granted.

I wish I wasn't afraid to put my head above the parapet.

 

[Jannickz]

Your wish is granted.
I wish i could be stronger than superman

 

[Damion36]

Don't deceive yourself.

 

[GamerwithnoGame]

There was no wish to grant.

I wish this thread could be re-railed!