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ThomazM

Phoenix Team Founder
Jun 11, 2013
1,308
2,514
473
The Immortal's Cemetery
Hello, FTB team and players.

I'm here to tell for whoever is willing to read this, an extremely dull and tedious story, therefore, anyone with a short attention span shall be my guest to leave now - although, if you're part of the FTB team and or a Forgecraft member, I would kindly ask for you to read this, it would really mean the world to me.

First things first, I really need to explain that the reason I'm about to write this is not only my will to share my story to the FTB Team and/or whoever is reading this but it is mainly me trying to express my thankfulness for everything that this absolutely incredible group of people have done for me - But I'm probably rushing things up, let me start from the beginning.

First, let me introduce myself. My name is Thomaz, I'm 15, and I live in South America, more specifically, Brazil - therefore, I'm very sorry for any gramatical mistakes, or dull use of vocabulary, I'm really trying my best! Let me start by saying I'm a big fan of the FTB Modpacks, and the whole team that works on it, mainly because of my condition.

Since the very beginning of the year before last, I've been facing a somewhat severe case of social anxiety and depression, caused by family problems that I'm not really willing to share openly. I've visited, in total, three psychiatrists, and I'm currently taking three different pills - But that's not important.

Being completely honest, the main reason, among a thousand others, that I'm writing this text is because of Direwolf20 videos, mainly his Forgecraft ones - I'll go ahead of myself and say, no, this is not a request to play on the Forgecraft server, I fully understand that the server is for beta-testers and mod-developers only, and I completely respect that. On the other hand, I'm not saying I wouldn't like it, it would really be a pleasure, but as I said, I truly understand the rules, and I conformed myself into the fact that that's going to stay as a dream for now.

As I was saying, Direwolf20 really helped me to get through this situation as a whole - that might sound childish and somewhat too simple at first, but allow me to explain. School really triggered my anxiety, causing me to be incapable of going to it for almost two full months - To ease the anxiety I watched youtube videos before going to school, they relaxed me, that is for me like watching TV for others, it really was relaxing. Direwolf20 videos really were special to me, as he's one of the few youtubers, if not the only one I'm subscribed to, that post their videos at morning - that made him one of the few youtubers I watched daily, for a whole year. The feeling that the Forgecraft team members as @Direwolf20 himself, @Soaryn, @pahimar, @slowpoke, @fuj1n, @Jadedcat, and many others (who I'll continue to add as I discover their forum usernames) were more that simply youtubers and or mod-developers grew inside of me, I really liked seeing them as friends - as it's difficult for me to make real ones, that really was and is special to me. Seeing their friendship made me happy, in some sort of way - I'm really aware of how cheesy that sounds, but it is true, it's difficult to explain. His videos were an escape valve for me, basicly.

And I do am aware that the only thing making this story not fake are my bare and meaningless words, you have all the reasons to believe I'm lying to get attention, my only defense is to ask whoever is reading this to please, believe me.

Well, summing up all this mess of bad written and for much meaningless text, I really, really, really would like to thank every single Forgecraft and FTB Team member. You guys really made my little world much more bearable. I still do face a somewhat severe case of social anxiety and depression, but, at the other hand, slowly but surely, I feel like I'm getting better, mainly because of my "friends". And, althought I know this is fated to never get a response - I would never be that lucky - I just felt the need to say "thank you".

So, thank you guys, for everything - See ya'.
 
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AlCapella

New Member
Jul 29, 2019
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Okay, firstly, it was very nice of you to take the time and share your most personal events and their details with total strangers in a public forum. Perhaps to an extent it shows your faith in this forum. We hope we will not let that faith down :)

Secondly, depression and anxiety are not easy matters to deal with at any age! In adolescence it is particularly bad. As Stephen Fry puts it,
one of the traps of adolescence is the sort of paranoid resentment that somehow you’re never going to match up and that everybody else’s life is going to be better and finer and fuller. That everyone else attended some secret lesson in which how to live was taught and you had a dental appointment that day or you were somehow not invited ...

So, remember those lines well. They will serve you well in life. :)

I am glad that direderp diredaffy direwolf20 and his cabal coterie friends on forgecraft did you a (unknowingly) great service ;) . It is funny, how an upbeat "Hello everyone, this is....." or a "hello everyone, I hope everybody is having a fantastic time..." from anonymous strangers on the Net brings an almost spontaneous smile to our faces. Please do keep smiling. It is contagious, both to the soul and to our near and dear. :)

And with that, I think I have reached a very good wrapping point for this post. :p
This is @AlCapella, signing off. ;)

Taaaaaaaaaaaaake it easy @ThomazM :)
 
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ThatOneSlowking

New Member
Jul 29, 2019
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At first I was going "oh boy, another wall of text thanking the FTB Team for modpacks... Eh, nothing better to do."
After reading:
" I never knew how much Direderp direpig direwolf20 helped some people, and I understand."
I am not sure how to better phrase it, but I am glad that direwolf20, the FTBTeam, and all the mod developers made you feel better. I hope you stay on the forums. :)
 

ThomazM

Phoenix Team Founder
Jun 11, 2013
1,308
2,514
473
The Immortal's Cemetery
Thank you guys so much for all the support, seriously, it's impossible to describe in words how much all this means to me, you guys are really the best, it really makes me believe that there's some good people willing to help out there - thank you!

And yes, even though I don't normally post that much I do like the forums very much! All the teamwork, laughs and, obviously, all the news and information about the mods, are all things I really truly enjoy.

@AlCapella, I couldn't be more thankful for all your support, that is really a very inspiring statement you quoted, and I promise to keep it in my mind for how long this last!

@ThatOneSlowking , I'm glad you understood, as I said, it does sound childish and way too simple to be true, but it is, it makes me really happy that someone understood my reasons. :3

@RealSketch, thanks a lot! You too.
 

ThomazM

Phoenix Team Founder
Jun 11, 2013
1,308
2,514
473
The Immortal's Cemetery
He's probably talking about you @RealSketch, I don't post that often to someone to say that I "brighten people's mood". And don't worry, you're doing a pretty good job at it :D

Also, I have a question. In which level of stupidity I need to be to, every 30 seconds, refresh the page waiting for a FTB Team member's response? - I just noticed how much of an attention whore I sound. Nevermind then. :p
 

ThatOneSlowking

New Member
Jul 29, 2019
3,520
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He's probably talking about you @RealSketch, I don't post that often to someone to say that I "brighten people's mood". And don't worry, you're doing a pretty good job at it :D

Also, I have a question. In which level of stupidity I need to be to, every 30 seconds, refresh the page waiting for a FTB Team member's response? - I just noticed how much of an attention whore I sound. Nevermind then. :p
That last part has got to be one of the best things I ever read. Added to siggy :D
 

RealSketch

New Member
Jul 29, 2019
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He's probably talking about you @RealSketch, I don't post that often to someone to say that I "brighten people's mood". And don't worry, you're doing a pretty good job at it :D
I don't know about me, I've had a lot of "Stop this now" + "Don't do this" messages pointed at me, but I'm learning everyday I post! :)
 
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midi_sec

New Member
Jul 29, 2019
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all i can say is i understand where you're coming from completely. SA/Panic disorder is something i struggle with as well, and i'm twice your age, though it's not as bad as it once was. i think the reason dire is helping you is that it's something stable and predictable; things like that helped me when my anxiety was out of control.

i hope you continue making progress, but don't forget that you've got strength inside you as well. there's only one person that will make you into the person you'll be 5, 10...20 years from now, and it's not your parents. :)
 

ThomazM

Phoenix Team Founder
Jun 11, 2013
1,308
2,514
473
The Immortal's Cemetery
@Arkandos, the second psychiatric I went to didn't like pills very much either, that being one of the main reasons my parents didn't like him very much. Although, being completely honest with you, pills and medicine in general, at least in my perspective don't seem to work very much - but my psychologist says that's normal - and I trust her, so... Yeah.