It may seem like everyone is being rude and not really helping, but there's several good reasons.
First, there are many ways to do it all. Ranging from Official FTB modpacks, private modpacks, no launcher, tekkit, etc. Plus, a server with 3 friends is very different from a server with 50 people that barely know each other...and you've provided no information on what you are actually looking to do.
Second, and this one is very important: Minecraft is extremely temperamental. If you can't find the answers to these questions on your own...you probably shouldn't be hosting a server. MC is manageable stock, though still problematic, but with mods it takes some serious effort to get it up and running decently. If you can't work out most simple problems on your own, you will spend weeks going back and forth on forums waiting for people to solve your problems.