... You make some good points.I like coming back to this thread, every time I do, the arguments have changed. At this point (again), it comes down to 2 issues.
The first of which is the original one you wanted to tackle, and I think it's the reason that you've gotten as much opposition. The core of your argument is that you want mods to play nice with each other. You want to force/compel devs to make their mod play nice with each other. This kind of strikes at the root of the philosophy of mods. You mention that you get irritated that UE does it's own pulverisor/smelter equivalent, but that's the way it goes. The first grind/smelt ore doubling mechanic was (by my memory, others might remember older) IndistrialCraft. You could argue that the subsequent ones (Thermal Expansion, Factorisation, Ars Magica, Thaumcraft, Tinkers Construct, etc.) have all been people saying "I want to do that, but my way". That's usually at the heart of mods. Forcing mods to do things (ore gen, energy, etc.) a single way would be more likely to remove the modder's desire to make the wonderful things that they do.
Forge should enable people to do what they do, I (personally) don't think that they should dictate how it's done. That's something that the playerbase requests.
The other aspect is optimisations, and here there's precedent, there are quite a few things that Forge optimises over vanilla, and it does it well. The problem arises when there are "questionable" enchancements, such as those made by Fastcraft or Optifine, things that might work for most people, but not for everyone (some people report marked decreases in performance). These shouldn't be included, they're better off in their current, separate form. People know about them, and what they do, and are welcome to include them as required.
Things like NEI similarly have their own issues, and user affecting problems (crashing, lookup loops, performance hits, etc.), and there's simply no profit to forcing Forge to bundle them, other than annoying all devs in question.
These are arguments to be put to devs, and for them to weigh the merits of, not for players to take to any kind of "higher authority".
I really have nothing to say against this, except the tiny piece of me that says: "But if they were part of forge, then they'd be aggressively bugfixed all the time because everyone is using them!" Applying that to Fastcraft, Optifine, NEI, etc.
... But maybe I'm wrong there.