My Book, looking for feedback :)

[elmarko98]

Hi, I've been writing for a year now and this is my first real attempt to writing a book, it's still a draft so the story is the focus at the moment. I'm quite far into it now (hitting 100 pages soon ) and some input from people that aren't likely to lie to me (unlike my family and friends ).
So here it is, please ignore any spelling and grammar mistakes and remember this is the first draft. I'm probably going to go over it when I've finished it and improve the quality of writing. It's fantasy and the title is Tales of Illensia.
So...any suggestions/criticisms for a young writer?
P.S: It went past the word limit so I had to upload it

 

[Vegoraptor]

It is fine overall, however, are you wanting it to be fantasy-style, or rather realistic, it is not quite clear and personally I do not like stories with magic wich is just used marginally, either give it a face or leave it out. (Might sound harsher than I wanted it to)
Also it is quite uncommon to switch from a narrator attached to a person to one being able to speak by himself, this might be good, but also might scare off people, furthermore I do not see much of a point explaining the economy concentrated instead of a bit-by-bit introduction scattered over the whole story.
At last, the end of the first chapter is really nice, really did not expect Aeodor to be the obstacle.
May I ask wich character is going to be the next protagonist?

 

[elmarko98]

Ah well you'll have to see
I might as well break it to you (SPOILER ALERT) Aeodor doesn't die...