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How would I turn on the whitelist and put myself there? Sorry I’m new to this. And also when I try connecting to the server it says “io.netty.channel.AbstractChannel$AnnotatedConnectException: Connection refused: no further information” Help?

I am new to making servers and I am now trying to make an FTB Revelations server. And I have the command prompt running in the background but it still says I can't join my OWN server? Does anyone know how to fix this? I should be able to at least join my server but it won't let me please help!